nearly december

Tonight I spent most of the evening preparing my 2011 photo books.  I managed to put three together this evening and have one more that I'll work on this weekend.  Tonight was going to be a running night - but, alas, it wasn't in the cards - and tomorrow I'm absolutely swamped at work and won't get to go to the gym at lunch - blah...

It is a busy weekend in Quesnel - tomorrow night is moonlight madness and there are super great deals downtown. Then Saturday is the Christmas Farmer's Market - hooray - a really great time to just browse and catch up with people.  I'm not really getting into the Christmas buying thing this year - I'd really rather spend time with people than buy a bunch of stuff.  Take note friends and family - this means you - I will send cards, hopefully cookies... but that's about it this year... Christmas should be about family and friends and celebrating everything we have, celebrating each other - and so our Christmas will be quiet - I say that and fully anticipate that in about 26 days I'll get the phone call that Christmas should be at my place this year and don't I mind everyone coming over and my answer to that will be - why, of course - as long as you cook while I have my special coffee all day... if that works for you... then by all means...  I know - you are shaking your head - of course I'll cook - I didn't get to cook at thanksgiving - how could I miss the other turkey holiday...

I'd really like to just float away for Christmas - that is one of the most anxious days of the year for me and just thinking about that day caught me off guard this afternoon and then I reminded myself that everything would be great and fantastic and that fear was only holding me back from moving forward... and so my head space cleared and I went back onto finance issues in the office.

My sister arrives tomorrow - her life is a bit of a chernobyl scene right now - but really - I think we've all been there... ok - maybe it is only a few of us... anyways - she is in McBride tonight and driving to us tomorrow.

Alright my loves - that's about it for me tonight - I think I'm just going to finish my last photo book tonight rather than waiting.. and do some laundry and whatever else.

xoxo

The power of vulnerability

Have 20 minutes?  This has done a few laps on Facebook and twitter, but I wanted to share it here.
It will be worth your 20 minutes... you will learn something or rekindle a thought you once had.

xo

the complexity

And so - here I sit - down 45 lbs since July and down over 80 lbs since my heaviest point in life and I feel a bit lost in it.  You see, I still see my fat version wondering around, April 1.0 - it is quite odd to hear that I look different.  Don't get me wrong - I feel better, I'm wearing clothes that I couldn't have gotten into in grade 12 - I still have a goal that I personally want to reach and so I'm trying to carry on - after a one month hiatus and no loss or gain and more of a month of re-distribution I'm back on the training trail.

What has come to me over the past few weeks is that I have to get past being that bigger person - that I need to re-focus my attention to how I look and feel today, April 2.0 :)  I actually throw away clothes that get big now - because there is no way that I'm allowing myself to have a moment of - well just put on the big pants today - it can't happen.  I can definitely see how it would be easy to gain the weight back because if I keep thinking that I look the same then if I gain weight there is part of my brain that would say well then I'd just feel the same... it is such a mind game.

And so I am working forward.  Many goals, dreams and great things ahead and the road is paved with hope.

my love to you tonight - xo plus an extra smooch, ok - two :)

ps - spiders are stupid - especially ones that hide in boxes and then launch themselves at you and hang out on you like you are some kind of spider resting place - gawd

government

Michael - floating and splashing in the tub - "mom, what is government"

Right... right - because there is an easy answer to that... hmmm... so I start with - you know Aunty Dawn's neighbour, she is part of government, she is the Mayor.

"hmmmmm - so she is the government"


Well no - she is part of government, there are lots of parts of government

There is an expression on his face that says I'm totally not connecting this for him.

And so I say the following.. government is like a cake - there are layers - there are three layers on the cake and then the candles on top are me and you and everyone else that isn't in government.

Government is like cake.  What kind of cake.

No - I did not answer with sarcasm or anything like - well it is 'ass cake' - I just said there are lots of layers to it and the cake is supposed to work together to stay together and then the candles don't fall off and we get to live great lives because all the layers are yummy and good.

"ok"

Sigh - government... what's next... world politics ... probably...


xo - my loves - xo 

Stop eating crappy food!

The below link has a list of foods from companies that use wood to bind the food together.  Please - think about what you are putting in your mouth - your body will thank you!

http://foodfreedom.wordpress.com/2011/07/08/15-food-companies-that-serve-you-wood/

This makes me crazy - this list... I mean - really - Aunt Jemima's syrup - really - glad I switched to Maple Syrup - the real kind that actually came from a tree... look at the list - I'm sure you'll find one product that you've consumed.

rrrrrrrrrrr

Ok - off to lunch - hoping to find non-wood filler food.... 

ahhhh

I just felt like screaming somewhere...


that is all...

Photos

 i like this photo because when i briefly look at it - i think it looks like there is a heart in the tree

(please note - i am also crazy and seeing things... )

here is the cute owl that Michael and I made... and is now sleeping in his room

Courage for all of us who need it this morning

Good morning my loves - I thought I'd share a poem I read recently (excerpt) because I know some of my readers need it this morning.  Hearing - this too will pass - can be so unhelpful when a hug is all that is needed - hugs to you this morning - love to you this morning!

In Life

© Angie Flores

"In life there are people that will hurt us and cause us pain,
but we must learn to forgive and forget and not hold grudges.

In life there are mistakes we will make,
but we must learn from our wrongs and grow from them.

In life there are regrets we will have to live with, 
but we must learn to leave the past behind and realize it is something we can't change.

In life there are people we will loose forever and can't have back,
but we must learn to let go & move on.

In life there are going to be obstacles that will cause interference,
but we must learn to overcome these challenges and grow stronger.

In life there are fears that will hold us back from what we want,
but we must learn to fight them with the courage from within."

The poem answered


In life there are people that will hurt us and cause us pain,
this does not mean it is ok to hurt them - we can not kill them because none of us want to go to jail and really - that doesn't solve anything 


In life there are mistakes we will make,
and we absolutely learn from our mistakes - sometimes it just takes us a really long time to see the mistake and then to try and change direction in a manner that doesn't cause everything to fall down


In life there are regrets we will have to live with,
sigh - there are no regrets - you see - this is just more mistakes and we learn from mistakes - what a shit poem - what have I started your Monday out with... good grief - maybe you should just ignore that shit and remember that even in your lowest moment someone is thinking about you and someone loves you - even if you don't think there is anyone


In life there are people we will lose (not loose - dumb ass) forever and can't have back,
what the hell kind of uplifting statement is that - gawd, you know what - go out and kick ass today - kick it like your a rock star - because you can !  YOU CAN!  Don't let anyone tell you otherwise - KICK ASS - take names and for those you can't kick in the ass today make a list so you can catch up with their sorry asses and kick them tomorrow


In life there are going to be obstacles that will cause interference,
yes - in hockey - and that will only get you two minutes - so just push those obstacles out of your way - push them down like you mean it - remember that time that you used your "big girl" or "big boy" voice - use it - use it and sing it - take your two minutes and move forward


In life there are fears that hold us back from what we want - 
FEAR - we are all afraid - of what... don't be afraid - don't be afraid because we only get one chance at this life and we need to live every minute of it - fear will only make you fat and happy with the non-life that you have - don't let yourself sit there - LIVE!  - don't hear yourself say - I wish I could do that - do it - move forward - be strong - and why - why - BECAUSE YOU CAN!  I know it - I know that everyone reading this can - and now let's go and kick some ass and have a great MONDAY!


xo

teaching

I get to teach for the next two days on social media and design - hooray!  Plus I get to work on next years magazine - hooray again!  We've been nominated for another award for the magazine and I can't say thank you enough to the team that put it together and all the photographers that helped it be successful!

I will mail you a copy if you email me your mailing address - and yes, of course my kids are in it - but only in one picture this year... email me at acheng@quesnelinfo.com and it will be yours - plus I will send you a couple of other small things..

Yesterday was super emotional and I'm hoping the roller coaster has stopped.

Ok - now off to wrap up lunches, make some breakfast and take on the world!

love to you!  xo

Photos

My first snow angel of the winter

Michael's craft from Sunday - yes... it is totally an airplane and his name is West

A shower head that I installed

The guys, my brother and the clown car - the convertible clown car!

Crafty Sunday

Well today we picked up a few supplies and made some crafts - definitely been inspired to get on the craft wagon after seeing Carmen's great stuff (and yes - this is another plug for her stuff... go - look - go - now...)

Michael made an airplane out of socks and some glue and some popsicle sticks... and I made an owl... out of socks... (like the bunny from last year, except puffier).  Michael decided that the owl was also his and he is sleeping with it as I write.

What else?  Well Michael loves cheddar cheese bagels - that kid could eat them at every meal - I mean - EVERY MEAL!  He also broke out with some mini blisters from a bandaid - so I'm not sure if that means he has an allergy or if something was under the bandaid that caused him to break out... blah - but he is ok - and it only pains him a little - it pains me as well because I hate to see him in pain ... blah...

Kyle is great - loving his new digs - mostly.  We are all adjusting - no tv has been a painful thing for them but they are getting use to it - and frankly, I love it.  I don't miss anything - ok - I'm a liar - I miss food network - but that's all.

My brother was here last night - blew through town as he bought a clown car (aka smart car) in vancouver and drove it through to Quesnel last night and out to Prince Rupert today.

Good night my loves - xo 

sharing

So Carmen is being crafty and I wanted to share her link...

http://www.etsy.com/shop/carmeninanutshell

Yes, you should go and check it out
Yes, you should buy one of her cute creations


ps. Apparently my request for 10 days of no snow fell on deaf ears... it is snowing... 

the sky

My BC readers will be well aware that there is some weird weather happening right now.  It is blustery in spots, snowing, raining and here - it is cloudy and cool, but not snowing... (please wait another 10 days - please).

And since I'm nearly finished organizing my crap I decided to bust out the camera and shoot some sky tonight...

The sky was moving too much to capture clear images... but I did manage to get this creepy one... (and no I did not photoshop this one)

Ok - wait - a little more.
I have kept a lot of stuff - Grandma passed away and I got piles of stuff... I decided to photograph what I really loved and move on from it - it is doing nothing other than take up space - I don't use it so why am I keeping it - just to feel close to her - but I can do that through photography.. and so I did...  here are some things...

Grandma's curler basket and glass for the curling pins

Here hair was still on the curlers... it was heart wrenching to throw away... but it is time and no one is ever going to use these... 

Hugs and smooches to you tonight - all my love - xo

Two things

Two things happened yesterday. Two things that I wasn't 100% sure were even possible.

1. I weighed in and for the first time in the history of me having a drivers license I was under the lied weight that I've had on there for 18 years.  It is shocking.  Once I figured out that I was actually under I sat there dumbfounded - how could it be.  I've been as much as 80 lbs over the weight listed on my driver's license... granted - that is at the height of being pregnant with Kyle, but Kyle only weighed 8 lbs 7 oz and I gained WAY more than that with him.

2. I went to get a dress for a special event I'm going to and... hold on to your seats... my goal was to be able to (in my words) pour myself into a size 12 dress - while this might not seem like a lofty goal it was huge for me - the "girls" had never EVER fit into dresses of this size - not as long as I've had them... and so... here I stood trying on a dress and it fit and ... it was a size 10... a 10... a ten - I'm knocking on single digits door and truth be told I have a size 8 pair of pants now... that fit!

So despite everything else in life right now the weight loss continues - which I'm grateful for.  Truth be told I still have weight I want to lose - I would love to be down about 15-20 lbs more - which now actually seems attainable.

Other than that... well I'm ok, kids are good and life has thrown fantastic days - I mean - FANTASTIC days and days where I wish I could crawl back under the covers and see if a few hours under the blankets will make a difference.

My love to you - xo

good luck lighting that

So I went to City Hall tonight and didn't want to leave the guys in the hall alone... so I made them stand in the girls washroom - enter the following the conversation.

Kyle ---- Michael, Miiichhaeellll - can you believe this?

Michael --- What? (genuinely concerned)

Kyle --- I can't believe they sell this stuff in bathrooms, I mean what does that need to be in here for?

general nodding from Michael and then another... what?

Kyle ---- Look - they are selling cigarettes in here.  That's disgusting.  Disgusting.

Michael --- shaking his head - really, that's what that is.

Kyle --- yes, and those are the things other ones are the ones you light them with.

movember

My friend Gary is growing a moustache!  Help show your support for men's health, specifically prostate cancer by donating today - every little bit helps.

In 2010 119,000 men across Canada participated in raising funds to support research on prostate cancer, raising over $22.3 million.  Go GUYS Go!

Click here to help Gary's campaign

seriously!

Ok - look - they should have put a WAY better disclaimer on the movie the Notebook - seriously - I cry and cry and cry and then cry some more -  GAWD!  (I know - how is it that I'm only seeing this movie now - well I just never saw it and then had the chance and still didn't watch it and then tonight - well I flicked it on and ... well - I watched it...

Honestly - it isn't a great film but the story is so gut wrenching - sheesh.

Ok - well I have some more unpacking I'd like to get through...

We are ok - we are managing.

my love to you.
xo