So I never said what I had been working on as a craft at Christmas and since it has come and gone now I thought I would share... (Mel - you would have gotten one and if the package never arrives I will make another... DAMNED GREYHOUND)
I went to a PG craft fair and bought a starry night charm from a vendor for $2 - and I thought if she is selling them for that cheap this must be something easy to do - so I started trying to figure out how to do it. I'm still working on the best backing and I will likely buy the kit I saw on ebay and I think it is fun and makes a great gift.
What I did was find photos of things I knew a couple of family and friends would like - 17-19 pictures and then I shrunk them down in word (office suite) - I then printed them on glossy photo paper and used double sided tape to adhere them to charm bracelets. I bought blank bracelets for about $4 each. Then I did 3-5 coats of clear nail polish. I made a few for my bracelet and haven't had any problems with them - the one I did for my mother in law had two fall off right away - so I know I need a better adhesive but glue just doesn't seem like an option since it will likely warp the picture.
I was just about to post a picture of some that I did and realized that it was copyright infringement... I will take a picture of one of the ones I did that was a personal photo and share it tomorrow. If anyone else has any cool crafts to try for next christmas gifts I would love to hear about it. I don't want to wait until December to try and get them done this year.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Sunday, January 07, 2007
hi ho
It's back to work I go tomorrow.
Today in a preemptive strike against my work I thought I would get Andy to help me move a few things around my office. I have two new staff starting in a week and I have a tonne of work to do before they show up.
We pull up to the backdoor and I get out. I take one step to open Michael's door and hit the ground HARD! On my tailbone - well more on my left hip - but closer to the middle. I shouted and I'm pretty sure I got a little bit of a concussion. I rolled off my back right away because I didn't want to rest on it any longer and moaned in the snow. There was two inches of snow and three inches of ice. I had a headache pretty much right away and felt nauseau. We went home because I just wanted to lie down. I called our landlords when I got home and asked what the protocol was on responsibility. I then took some advil.
I'm sore tonight but I know I didn't break anything - just bruised and some kind of head/neck thing. My headache is trying to chew its way back... here is to another soak in the tub and some advil. Should I see a chiropractor? Andy suggested it moments after I hit the ground... I haven't been to one in years and I'm always nervous about them.
Today in a preemptive strike against my work I thought I would get Andy to help me move a few things around my office. I have two new staff starting in a week and I have a tonne of work to do before they show up.
We pull up to the backdoor and I get out. I take one step to open Michael's door and hit the ground HARD! On my tailbone - well more on my left hip - but closer to the middle. I shouted and I'm pretty sure I got a little bit of a concussion. I rolled off my back right away because I didn't want to rest on it any longer and moaned in the snow. There was two inches of snow and three inches of ice. I had a headache pretty much right away and felt nauseau. We went home because I just wanted to lie down. I called our landlords when I got home and asked what the protocol was on responsibility. I then took some advil.
I'm sore tonight but I know I didn't break anything - just bruised and some kind of head/neck thing. My headache is trying to chew its way back... here is to another soak in the tub and some advil. Should I see a chiropractor? Andy suggested it moments after I hit the ground... I haven't been to one in years and I'm always nervous about them.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
so smart
"Hey Bill, I was thinking about our new line of margarine that can compete with the big companies."
"Really Fred, what were you thinking?"
"Well I was out shopping last night and I started thinking about the people that buy margarine. Everyone does it, even celebrities... right Bill."
"Ok Fred, so what were you thinking?"
"Bill, what do you think of the new no name margarine being called Celeb?"
pause
"Fred, I love it."
The night before...
"Sharla, I've got a big day tomorrow at the no name office, I hope you are making something good - something inspiring. I've been putting off the naming of our new margarine for weeks and I really need to think of something."
No answer from the kitchen.
"Sharla, are you listening to me?"
No answer. Fred begins to day dream. He looks at the beautiful no name plates on his table and a lovely vase full of bright flowers that he'd brought home for his beautiful wife. The table has been set with no name salad dressing and no name cottage cheese and... hold the phone, what is this - some Becel margarine has made its way onto his table... what is this?... what is this...
"Sorry dear, did you say something?" Sharla comes through the kitchen door into the dining room and finds Fred beaming.
"Sharla I've got it. I've got it." He kisses her on the face and continues to beam.
_________________________
So the above I made up - I just thought it made for an entertaining way of sharing my grocery shopping moment tonight. I was looking for Becel and there underneath the Becel was the no name Celeb. Those darned creative no name people, how do they come up with these things?
Hope everyone is having a great day! I'm heading to the tub for a nice soak.
"Really Fred, what were you thinking?"
"Well I was out shopping last night and I started thinking about the people that buy margarine. Everyone does it, even celebrities... right Bill."
"Ok Fred, so what were you thinking?"
"Bill, what do you think of the new no name margarine being called Celeb?"
pause
"Fred, I love it."
The night before...
"Sharla, I've got a big day tomorrow at the no name office, I hope you are making something good - something inspiring. I've been putting off the naming of our new margarine for weeks and I really need to think of something."
No answer from the kitchen.
"Sharla, are you listening to me?"
No answer. Fred begins to day dream. He looks at the beautiful no name plates on his table and a lovely vase full of bright flowers that he'd brought home for his beautiful wife. The table has been set with no name salad dressing and no name cottage cheese and... hold the phone, what is this - some Becel margarine has made its way onto his table... what is this?... what is this...
"Sorry dear, did you say something?" Sharla comes through the kitchen door into the dining room and finds Fred beaming.
"Sharla I've got it. I've got it." He kisses her on the face and continues to beam.
_________________________
So the above I made up - I just thought it made for an entertaining way of sharing my grocery shopping moment tonight. I was looking for Becel and there underneath the Becel was the no name Celeb. Those darned creative no name people, how do they come up with these things?
Hope everyone is having a great day! I'm heading to the tub for a nice soak.
Friday, January 05, 2007
birthday pics
Here is Michael at his first birthday party. Grandma and Grandpa came over and shared some chicken tetrazini and Quesnel Bakery black forest cake, which is without a doubt the best on the planet!
This was taken before Michael realized that the thing on the plate was chocolate... I think being deprived of chocolate while I was pregnant has led to a total and complete love for it. I told my grandma that he liked arrow bars... she bought him a jumbo one for christmas - it was pretty funny.. he hasn't eaten it yet. (And neither have I... :) )
Here is Michael enjoying the chocolatey goodness and embracing his love for cake.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Happy New Year
Happy New Year and welcome to 2007! I hope someone had a good time out on New Year's. We were laid up with sick kids and family. Michael has been kind of sick for a while - mostly teething (four at the same time) - Andy's mom got what we thought was food poisoning until everyone else started getting sick. I was thinking of Jen on New Year's and how I wish I could come over one year to play games and have some fun... it will happen. We drove home on Jan 2 in the flood of 2007 - the roads were terrible with more than a foot of water in places... we made it home... sick - but otherwise unscathed - I can't say that for some of the other drivers we saw three cars that had a very bad day.
ERKS!
Canada Post is only just starting to return my Christmas cards - Sarah - I sent you one and it came back - I guess I had the wrong Mackenzie family. I also got two others back that said they were bad addresses.
Greyhound is worse - we shipped a large package to Calgary on Dec 18 and today - January 4 - it has still not arrived. We've done nearly everything we can do at this point. Now we all just hope it shows up - somewhere... ARG! Arg again to crappy greyhound for loosing my sisters christmas gifts... boo greyhound - double boo...!
SMILES
And speaking of the date - it was this time last year that I was sitting in the Quesnel Hospital enjoying my first few hours with Michael. He is one today and I will post some birthday dinner pictures tomorrow. Time definitely flies. Today also represents my first day back to work - well half day - I go back full time on Monday. I'm going to get to bed.
ERKS!
Canada Post is only just starting to return my Christmas cards - Sarah - I sent you one and it came back - I guess I had the wrong Mackenzie family. I also got two others back that said they were bad addresses.
Greyhound is worse - we shipped a large package to Calgary on Dec 18 and today - January 4 - it has still not arrived. We've done nearly everything we can do at this point. Now we all just hope it shows up - somewhere... ARG! Arg again to crappy greyhound for loosing my sisters christmas gifts... boo greyhound - double boo...!
SMILES
And speaking of the date - it was this time last year that I was sitting in the Quesnel Hospital enjoying my first few hours with Michael. He is one today and I will post some birthday dinner pictures tomorrow. Time definitely flies. Today also represents my first day back to work - well half day - I go back full time on Monday. I'm going to get to bed.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Merry Christmas
Well like my title says - Merry Christmas - I hope you all have great days with your friends and family. I'm just heading off to tuck myself in for a couple of hours before Kyle wakes up and realizes that "santa" has been here. I can only hope that he is a better child then me and my brother and sister were... we use to stay up all night - like all night - and keep pestering my parents - is it time? is it time? come on come on come on...
My eyes are starting to seal themselves shut so I better get to bed. Best wishes to you all!
My eyes are starting to seal themselves shut so I better get to bed. Best wishes to you all!
Friday, December 22, 2006
heaven
I caught some of the Barbara Walter's special tonight on heaven and found it to be quite interesting. I would love to hear what everyone else thought about it - if you managed to catch it.
Basically she talked to people from a lot of different religions and non-religious walks of life and asked about their heaven - was there one, what did it look like, who got in. There was a scientist who said there was a heaven gene - which meant that those people with the "mutated gene" felt more spiritual than others - not that they were closer to God, but that they had a passion about some form of spirituality and this gene made them able to believe easier.
The American Atheist Association(?) seemed to get the worst of it. It seemed like the questioning was different - like - come on join the rest of us - we all believe in something - don't you believe in anything - come on, come on - if millions of us think this way we must be right and you must be wrong... come on - she wasn't buying. So now I've said the atheists got the worst of it - that is compared to the jihadist she had on - who had pretty easy questions - although Barbara proudly didn't want to say anything that would get her in too much shit. I commend her for asking such a diverse group and showing people like me that there are lots of thoughts on what will happen when we die.
What do you think? Where do we go - just into the ground? is there more? I started writing a novel about this topic - fiction - it followed four lives and took them to different endings - heaven, hell, reincarnation, a little bit of everything. I stopped writing it because I feel like I dwell on death too much and that makes me nervous. I would hate to pass away and be thinking about how it was all going to end. I worry enough about stuff without throwing that into the cake mix too. I seriously think that I have some kind of disorder - probably just ADHD - but my brain seems to go in all kinds of directions - all the time... yep - sounds like ADHD... good grief
enough enough.... I better get back to scrapbooking. I will post pictures tomorrow of my work.... my (cross your fingers) completed work.
Basically she talked to people from a lot of different religions and non-religious walks of life and asked about their heaven - was there one, what did it look like, who got in. There was a scientist who said there was a heaven gene - which meant that those people with the "mutated gene" felt more spiritual than others - not that they were closer to God, but that they had a passion about some form of spirituality and this gene made them able to believe easier.
The American Atheist Association(?) seemed to get the worst of it. It seemed like the questioning was different - like - come on join the rest of us - we all believe in something - don't you believe in anything - come on, come on - if millions of us think this way we must be right and you must be wrong... come on - she wasn't buying. So now I've said the atheists got the worst of it - that is compared to the jihadist she had on - who had pretty easy questions - although Barbara proudly didn't want to say anything that would get her in too much shit. I commend her for asking such a diverse group and showing people like me that there are lots of thoughts on what will happen when we die.
What do you think? Where do we go - just into the ground? is there more? I started writing a novel about this topic - fiction - it followed four lives and took them to different endings - heaven, hell, reincarnation, a little bit of everything. I stopped writing it because I feel like I dwell on death too much and that makes me nervous. I would hate to pass away and be thinking about how it was all going to end. I worry enough about stuff without throwing that into the cake mix too. I seriously think that I have some kind of disorder - probably just ADHD - but my brain seems to go in all kinds of directions - all the time... yep - sounds like ADHD... good grief
enough enough.... I better get back to scrapbooking. I will post pictures tomorrow of my work.... my (cross your fingers) completed work.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
what the heck is this
It's Christmas - we are joyous... we are trying...
Tonight while Andy was painting the bathroom (yes, it will be finished for Christmas hooray) I saw this little critter climbing across the ceiling... anyone every seen one of these before... I thought maybe it was a festive bug - sporting two antlers for the holiday season - but alas they are attached - yes, I now have the heeby-jeebys and wonder if he has any buddies...
Tonight while Andy was painting the bathroom (yes, it will be finished for Christmas hooray) I saw this little critter climbing across the ceiling... anyone every seen one of these before... I thought maybe it was a festive bug - sporting two antlers for the holiday season - but alas they are attached - yes, I now have the heeby-jeebys and wonder if he has any buddies...
Monday, December 18, 2006
more christmas quizzes
I sit here with a swollen lip and some anger... but I'm trying to get over it. Michael head butted me about as hard as his little head could tonight and my lip is paying for it - and my jaw. I felt like my mouth was on fire, but I just laid him down in bed (we were already in bed mode) and left the room. He bawled his eyes out, but I just needed a break. He finally went to sleep... hooray! Now I'm just going to put together some packages and get a little scrapbookin' done. I finished my grandma's scrapbook last night so I'm very happy about that - I just hope she likes it.
I took the kids to a friends christmas party today. My friend has nine christmas trees and her house is better than Martha's... I'm sure of it. She takes a lot of pride in her Christmas ornaments and displays - enter the boys... lordy lordy lordy - first I showed up way to early - thinking the party was right at noon - nope... but we just hung out... the kids were actually pretty good, but there were a few moments where it could have gotten ugly... I won't go into all the gruesome details but we left with no broken ornaments and we left first so my friend had time to vent to the other women if she needed to :)
And now for a quiz to get you in the holiday mood -
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper
2. Real tree or artificial? Artificial - but not by choice... I will confess that this year it is more practical because we are leaving on boxing day, but I'm not in love with the hand-me-down fake one.
3. When do you put up the tree? Usually the first weekend in December
4. When do you take the tree down? I like to do it before my birthday (29th) but it usually stays up until New Years.
5. Do you like eggnog? Um - YES - but not a lot anymore - and not the low fat kind - BLAH!
6. Favourite gift received as a child? That is a hard question - nothing is even sticking out for me - I remember getting a jello cookbook the same year my sister (i love you) got a keyboard and I was pretty upset - oh then one year I got a porcelain doll - but I'd asked for it about three years earlier... I always loved getting pjs - not so much anymore...
7. Do you have a nativity scene? nope
8. Hardest person to buy for? my brother - and I've given up shopping for him as a result
9. Easiest person to buy for? all the woman in my life
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? is this a joke - those who send me email christmas cards will be laughed at
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I received a brick in 2001.
12. Favourite Christmas Movie? I've always liked the one with Mary Steenbrenner? when she loses everything and then gets it all back... I also like the Muppets Christmas Show (not the Mupper Christmas Carol), Garfield Christmas and Scrooged
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I'm always looking for that perfect gift
14.Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yes - I will admit it!
15. Favourite Christmas treat? is turkey a treat? I like turtles but I never buy them because I know that my love of these is not a good thing.
16. Favourite Christmas song? Oh Come All Ye Faithful - Barenaked Ladies (it's actually my ringtone right now)
17. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home Christmas Day then one the road
18. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? yes
19. What's on top of your tree? A lame star
20. Do you have Jesus in your heart this Christmas? I think the holiday spirit is with me - not so sure if that means Jesus or not
22. Favourite ornament theme or color? I left silver and white with red...
23. Favourite Christmas dinner? when all my family is around... although if the question is supposed to be what was your fav christmas dinner i would probably saw it was in res. with all my friends - there was 16/17 of us and we had a great meal - we were all dressed up and I will always remember it
24. What do you most want for Christmas? I want this (it's a video so it might take a minute to load - thanks paula)
I took the kids to a friends christmas party today. My friend has nine christmas trees and her house is better than Martha's... I'm sure of it. She takes a lot of pride in her Christmas ornaments and displays - enter the boys... lordy lordy lordy - first I showed up way to early - thinking the party was right at noon - nope... but we just hung out... the kids were actually pretty good, but there were a few moments where it could have gotten ugly... I won't go into all the gruesome details but we left with no broken ornaments and we left first so my friend had time to vent to the other women if she needed to :)
And now for a quiz to get you in the holiday mood -
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper
2. Real tree or artificial? Artificial - but not by choice... I will confess that this year it is more practical because we are leaving on boxing day, but I'm not in love with the hand-me-down fake one.
3. When do you put up the tree? Usually the first weekend in December
4. When do you take the tree down? I like to do it before my birthday (29th) but it usually stays up until New Years.
5. Do you like eggnog? Um - YES - but not a lot anymore - and not the low fat kind - BLAH!
6. Favourite gift received as a child? That is a hard question - nothing is even sticking out for me - I remember getting a jello cookbook the same year my sister (i love you) got a keyboard and I was pretty upset - oh then one year I got a porcelain doll - but I'd asked for it about three years earlier... I always loved getting pjs - not so much anymore...
7. Do you have a nativity scene? nope
8. Hardest person to buy for? my brother - and I've given up shopping for him as a result
9. Easiest person to buy for? all the woman in my life
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? is this a joke - those who send me email christmas cards will be laughed at
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I received a brick in 2001.
12. Favourite Christmas Movie? I've always liked the one with Mary Steenbrenner? when she loses everything and then gets it all back... I also like the Muppets Christmas Show (not the Mupper Christmas Carol), Garfield Christmas and Scrooged
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I'm always looking for that perfect gift
14.Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yes - I will admit it!
15. Favourite Christmas treat? is turkey a treat? I like turtles but I never buy them because I know that my love of these is not a good thing.
16. Favourite Christmas song? Oh Come All Ye Faithful - Barenaked Ladies (it's actually my ringtone right now)
17. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home Christmas Day then one the road
18. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? yes
19. What's on top of your tree? A lame star
20. Do you have Jesus in your heart this Christmas? I think the holiday spirit is with me - not so sure if that means Jesus or not
22. Favourite ornament theme or color? I left silver and white with red...
23. Favourite Christmas dinner? when all my family is around... although if the question is supposed to be what was your fav christmas dinner i would probably saw it was in res. with all my friends - there was 16/17 of us and we had a great meal - we were all dressed up and I will always remember it
24. What do you most want for Christmas? I want this (it's a video so it might take a minute to load - thanks paula)
Thursday, December 14, 2006
steps
Michael took his first steps on Monday night. He has been motoring around the furniture and anything that will support his weight for months, but he finally took the first two alone steps. Michael is now 11 months old and the chattest baby I've met. He is very independent and knows what he wants and has no problems in voicing his opinion on things. It is all a learning curve as Kyle didn't do anything the same. He definitely keeps us on our toes.
We went to PG yesterday to pick up some new lights for the bathroom and kitchen. We stayed the day and did a tour of candy cane lanes. (Carmen, we stopped by your place but nobody was home... I guess we will have to catch you in the New Year - great display! - is there a contest for lighting houses in your neighborhood?)
Not much else new here. I'm trying to finish scrapbooking projects and a variety of other things. I managed to get all my christmas cards in the mail today - so hooray for that! One less thing to do before we had to the coast. We will be in Vancouver from the 27th to Jan 2.
Well I better go and get some sleep if I want to actually accomplish stuff tomorrow. Hugs and kisses :)
We went to PG yesterday to pick up some new lights for the bathroom and kitchen. We stayed the day and did a tour of candy cane lanes. (Carmen, we stopped by your place but nobody was home... I guess we will have to catch you in the New Year - great display! - is there a contest for lighting houses in your neighborhood?)
Not much else new here. I'm trying to finish scrapbooking projects and a variety of other things. I managed to get all my christmas cards in the mail today - so hooray for that! One less thing to do before we had to the coast. We will be in Vancouver from the 27th to Jan 2.
Well I better go and get some sleep if I want to actually accomplish stuff tomorrow. Hugs and kisses :)
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Getting to know me :)
Here is a little getting to know me quiz from Carmen's blog. Please feel free to cut and paste the quiz and showcase it on your site. Let me know you've done it and I will add links at the bottom for those who've completed it.
Put an x next to the items that apply to you.
[ ] Short, 5'2 and under
[ ] 5'3 -5'6"
[x] 5'7" - 6'0
[ ] Tall 6'2 and up
NATURALLY
[x] Blonde
[ ] Redhead
[ ] Brunette
[ ] Dirty blonde
[ ] Dark brown
[ ] Light brown
[ ] Black
[ ] Orange
[ ] Kind of both blond n red
[ ] Kind of both brown n red
[ ] Kind of both brunette and black
Eyes
[x] Blue-eyed
[ ] Brown-eyed
[ ] Green-eyed
[ ] Hazel eyed
[ ] Dark eyed (dark brown)
[ ] Gold/gray-eyed
[ ] Silver/gray- eyed
[ ] Blue/green-eyed
[ ] Blue/gray-eyed
[ ] They change colors
[ ] Other
[ ] Glasses
[ ] Contacts
[ ] Neither
[ ] Both
Hair
[ ] Short hair
[ ] Medium
[x] Long hair
Your favorite color(s) are?
[x] Red
[ ] Pink
[ ] Yellow
[ ] Black
[ ] Green
[ ] Neon green
[ ] Blue
[ ] White
[ ] Turquoise
[x] Silver
[ ] Purple
[ ] Brown
[ ] Orange
[ ] Grey
[x] Maroon
[ ] Gold
[ ] Deep purple
[ ] Blood red
Some things you've done or have attempted to do:
[x] Ice skating
[x] Hiking
[ ] Kayaking
[ ] Rafting
[ ] Water skiing
[x] Camping
[x] Horseback riding
[ ] Surfing and skim/wake boarding
[x] Snowboarding
[x] Skiing (cross country for me )
[ ] Skateboarding
[ ] Cheerleading
[x] Lacrosse
[x] Street hockey
[x] Ice hockey
[x] Gymnastics - when I was four - does that count?
[ ] Martial arts
[ ] BMX
[ ] Baton twirling
You CAN'T stand listening to?
[ ] Pop
[ ] Country
[ ] Christian
[ ] Classical
[ ] Techno
[ ] Oldies
[ ] Opera
[ ] Reggae
[ ] 80's
[ ] Disco
[ ] Hip hop
[ ] Punk
[ ] Rap
[ ] Hardcore
The pets you have/had?
[x] Cat
[x] Dog
[ ] Lizard {salamanders}
[ ] Rat
[x] Ferret
[x] Bunny
[x] Fish
[x] Duck
[x] Horse
[ ] Bird
[x] Frog
[ ] Hermit crab
[ ] Prairie dog
[ ] Turtle
[ ] Hamster
[ ] Snake
[ ] Gerbil
[ ] Guinea pig
[x] Pig
[x] Goat
[ ] Chinchilla
[ ] Tarantula
[ ] Squid
[ ] Geese
[ ] Chicken/rooster
[ ] Hedgehog
[ ] Mouse
[x] Sasquatch (this is to see if you've really been reading all this)
Provinces/Territories I have been to:
[x] Alberta
[x] British Columbia
[ ] Manitoba
[ ] New Brunswick
[ ] Newfoundland & Labrador
[ ] Northwest Territories
[ ] Nova Scotia
[ ] Nunavut
[x] Ontario
[ ] Prince Edward Island
[ ] Quebec
[ ] Saskatchewan
[ ] Yukon
Your confessions:
[ ] I'm afraid of quietness
[ ] I am really ticklish
[ ] I'm afraid of the dark when I'm by myself
[x] I've collected comic books
[x] I shut others out when I'm sad
[ ] I open up to others easily
[ ] I don't kill bugs
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name
[x] I bake well
[x] I have worn pajamas to class
[x] I love Martha Stewart
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS
[x] I love to laugh
[ ] I drink alcohol on a regular basis
[ ] I have tried a cigarette
[ ] I can't swallow pills
[x] I bite my nails
[ ] I play computer games
[x] Gotten lost in the city
[x] Gone out in public in your pajamas
[ ] Been skydiving
[ ] Been bungee jumping
[x] Bitten someone
[ ] Dressed up like the opposite sex
[x] Egged a house/car (pumpkined a house/car.... )
[x] Crashed into a car
[ ] Been fired
Have you ever...
[x] Stolen a sign (HA - SIGNS)
[x] Danced in the rain
[x] Seen a shooting star
[x] Proposed to anyone
[x] Gotten stitches
[x] Eaten Sushi
[x] Gotten the chicken pox
[x] Ridden in a taxi
[x] Been on a boat
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[x] Been on a Plane by yourself
[x] Had surgery
[x] Seen a movie more than 3 times in the theater (it pains me to share this but it was Cliffhanger and I went alone... lord - please feel free to laugh at me - I've also saw Alive (the cannibal movie) and A Bugs Life three times in theatre - pathetic - I know...
[x] Been on stage
[x] Gotten a black eye
[x] Memorized all the dialogue in a movie
[x] Watched an entire baseball game on TV (this is only because I lived with Susan for a while in university - I have not and would likely have never watched an entire game otherwise)
Do you like...
[ ] Old movies
[x] Musicals
[x] Music
[x] Foreign foods
[ ] Bukkake (ok for those that don't know what this is I've given you a link to follow - this is definitely R rated - so put on your plus 18 hats...
[ ] Anime
[x] Christmas time
[x] Donuts
[ ] Animals
[x] Coffee
Others who have completed this:
Carmen
Mel
Put an x next to the items that apply to you.
[ ] Short, 5'2 and under
[ ] 5'3 -5'6"
[x] 5'7" - 6'0
[ ] Tall 6'2 and up
NATURALLY
[x] Blonde
[ ] Redhead
[ ] Brunette
[ ] Dirty blonde
[ ] Dark brown
[ ] Light brown
[ ] Black
[ ] Orange
[ ] Kind of both blond n red
[ ] Kind of both brown n red
[ ] Kind of both brunette and black
Eyes
[x] Blue-eyed
[ ] Brown-eyed
[ ] Green-eyed
[ ] Hazel eyed
[ ] Dark eyed (dark brown)
[ ] Gold/gray-eyed
[ ] Silver/gray- eyed
[ ] Blue/green-eyed
[ ] Blue/gray-eyed
[ ] They change colors
[ ] Other
[ ] Glasses
[ ] Contacts
[ ] Neither
[ ] Both
Hair
[ ] Short hair
[ ] Medium
[x] Long hair
Your favorite color(s) are?
[x] Red
[ ] Pink
[ ] Yellow
[ ] Black
[ ] Green
[ ] Neon green
[ ] Blue
[ ] White
[ ] Turquoise
[x] Silver
[ ] Purple
[ ] Brown
[ ] Orange
[ ] Grey
[x] Maroon
[ ] Gold
[ ] Deep purple
[ ] Blood red
Some things you've done or have attempted to do:
[x] Ice skating
[x] Hiking
[ ] Kayaking
[ ] Rafting
[ ] Water skiing
[x] Camping
[x] Horseback riding
[ ] Surfing and skim/wake boarding
[x] Snowboarding
[x] Skiing (cross country for me )
[ ] Skateboarding
[ ] Cheerleading
[x] Lacrosse
[x] Street hockey
[x] Ice hockey
[x] Gymnastics - when I was four - does that count?
[ ] Martial arts
[ ] BMX
[ ] Baton twirling
You CAN'T stand listening to?
[ ] Pop
[ ] Country
[ ] Christian
[ ] Classical
[ ] Techno
[ ] Oldies
[ ] Opera
[ ] Reggae
[ ] 80's
[ ] Disco
[ ] Hip hop
[ ] Punk
[ ] Rap
[ ] Hardcore
The pets you have/had?
[x] Cat
[x] Dog
[ ] Lizard {salamanders}
[ ] Rat
[x] Ferret
[x] Bunny
[x] Fish
[x] Duck
[x] Horse
[ ] Bird
[x] Frog
[ ] Hermit crab
[ ] Prairie dog
[ ] Turtle
[ ] Hamster
[ ] Snake
[ ] Gerbil
[ ] Guinea pig
[x] Pig
[x] Goat
[ ] Chinchilla
[ ] Tarantula
[ ] Squid
[ ] Geese
[ ] Chicken/rooster
[ ] Hedgehog
[ ] Mouse
[x] Sasquatch (this is to see if you've really been reading all this)
Provinces/Territories I have been to:
[x] Alberta
[x] British Columbia
[ ] Manitoba
[ ] New Brunswick
[ ] Newfoundland & Labrador
[ ] Northwest Territories
[ ] Nova Scotia
[ ] Nunavut
[x] Ontario
[ ] Prince Edward Island
[ ] Quebec
[ ] Saskatchewan
[ ] Yukon
Your confessions:
[ ] I'm afraid of quietness
[ ] I am really ticklish
[ ] I'm afraid of the dark when I'm by myself
[x] I've collected comic books
[x] I shut others out when I'm sad
[ ] I open up to others easily
[ ] I don't kill bugs
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name
[x] I bake well
[x] I have worn pajamas to class
[x] I love Martha Stewart
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS
[x] I love to laugh
[ ] I drink alcohol on a regular basis
[ ] I have tried a cigarette
[ ] I can't swallow pills
[x] I bite my nails
[ ] I play computer games
[x] Gotten lost in the city
[x] Gone out in public in your pajamas
[ ] Been skydiving
[ ] Been bungee jumping
[x] Bitten someone
[ ] Dressed up like the opposite sex
[x] Egged a house/car (pumpkined a house/car.... )
[x] Crashed into a car
[ ] Been fired
Have you ever...
[x] Stolen a sign (HA - SIGNS)
[x] Danced in the rain
[x] Seen a shooting star
[x] Proposed to anyone
[x] Gotten stitches
[x] Eaten Sushi
[x] Gotten the chicken pox
[x] Ridden in a taxi
[x] Been on a boat
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[x] Been on a Plane by yourself
[x] Had surgery
[x] Seen a movie more than 3 times in the theater (it pains me to share this but it was Cliffhanger and I went alone... lord - please feel free to laugh at me - I've also saw Alive (the cannibal movie) and A Bugs Life three times in theatre - pathetic - I know...
[x] Been on stage
[x] Gotten a black eye
[x] Memorized all the dialogue in a movie
[x] Watched an entire baseball game on TV (this is only because I lived with Susan for a while in university - I have not and would likely have never watched an entire game otherwise)
Do you like...
[ ] Old movies
[x] Musicals
[x] Music
[x] Foreign foods
[ ] Bukkake (ok for those that don't know what this is I've given you a link to follow - this is definitely R rated - so put on your plus 18 hats...
[ ] Anime
[x] Christmas time
[x] Donuts
[ ] Animals
[x] Coffee
Others who have completed this:
Carmen
Mel
Thursday, December 07, 2006
the hand
On Tuesday we made our way to PG for my hand appointment. The roads weren't too bad. I was a little hesitate to go because we'd had a big dump the night before. We made it to PG where the City I guess forgot what to do when it snows - the PG roads were TERRIBLE. It has warmed up now so I'm sure mother nature has cleaned them up for the City by now.
We got to my appointment early and thankfully Andy and the boys went shopping. 10:20 I handed in my slip to the clinic and then I sat there and listened to at least 10 other people go and get casts replaced or put on. Some yelling, some crying - not fun. At 11:40 I was called in. I sat down - he looks at my hand - oh looks good - I reply 'well it doesn't feel good - it doesn't work like it used to' - oh give it time - it is still healing - your finger is still swollen... - all with a slight Arnold Swartznegger accent - I tell him I've been popping it to make it feel better - the other surgeon suggest that might help - 'stop doing that - that only causes inflamation' ARG - and that was it - I was probably in the room (screened off area) for three minutes! Thank you BC medical system! I know that I wasn't that important on their list but I was hoping he might say - hey I know it isn't feeling great yet, and I know I told you three days for recovery - but I guess I was wrong - would you like to take me out back and give me a punch - will that make you feel better - and I would have said no - I just want to complain about it on my blog. :)
So then we went for lunch and did some shopping. At 4pm I said let's do a little more shopping and just have dinner. And then another blizzard came in. At 7pm I started to make my way home. Andy and Michael slept, while Kyle watched a movie. We had one scary part - I will share now because I'm getting over it. I'm driving about 80 so I know I have time to slow for animals and vehicles. I come over this hill (10 km from Hixon) and I see a light - I'm not sure if it is on the road or not because of the white out conditions. I keep going the same rate of speed and soon enough the red light seems to be closer. It is a faint red light - I started to think it might be someone in the ditch. I get about 15 feet from it and then another car comes around the corner and see that I'm 15 feet from the ass of a red nosed reindeer. Ok - I couldn't resist - that was too easy. Ok - so I'm 15 feet from a rig that hasn't wiped off his lights. I'm just lucky that some extra light was shone on the road. I don't think I would have hit him but I could have lost control.
We made it home after 2 hours and one break at Hixon to wipe off the lights... I didn't want to be another asshole out of the roads. It continued to snow - there is more snow than I've seen in - well at least 10 years - it seems to be similiar to the dump we got at university in '96. Andy has been clearing the drive way a couple of times a day - or had been - now it is warm - a mild 4 degrees and melting.
Well tonight is my staff christmas party and I still have work to do so I better get on it. Prayers to Sarah's friend on the Island - check her blog for more details. We could be a regular prayer hotline at this pace. :)
We got to my appointment early and thankfully Andy and the boys went shopping. 10:20 I handed in my slip to the clinic and then I sat there and listened to at least 10 other people go and get casts replaced or put on. Some yelling, some crying - not fun. At 11:40 I was called in. I sat down - he looks at my hand - oh looks good - I reply 'well it doesn't feel good - it doesn't work like it used to' - oh give it time - it is still healing - your finger is still swollen... - all with a slight Arnold Swartznegger accent - I tell him I've been popping it to make it feel better - the other surgeon suggest that might help - 'stop doing that - that only causes inflamation' ARG - and that was it - I was probably in the room (screened off area) for three minutes! Thank you BC medical system! I know that I wasn't that important on their list but I was hoping he might say - hey I know it isn't feeling great yet, and I know I told you three days for recovery - but I guess I was wrong - would you like to take me out back and give me a punch - will that make you feel better - and I would have said no - I just want to complain about it on my blog. :)
So then we went for lunch and did some shopping. At 4pm I said let's do a little more shopping and just have dinner. And then another blizzard came in. At 7pm I started to make my way home. Andy and Michael slept, while Kyle watched a movie. We had one scary part - I will share now because I'm getting over it. I'm driving about 80 so I know I have time to slow for animals and vehicles. I come over this hill (10 km from Hixon) and I see a light - I'm not sure if it is on the road or not because of the white out conditions. I keep going the same rate of speed and soon enough the red light seems to be closer. It is a faint red light - I started to think it might be someone in the ditch. I get about 15 feet from it and then another car comes around the corner and see that I'm 15 feet from the ass of a red nosed reindeer. Ok - I couldn't resist - that was too easy. Ok - so I'm 15 feet from a rig that hasn't wiped off his lights. I'm just lucky that some extra light was shone on the road. I don't think I would have hit him but I could have lost control.
We made it home after 2 hours and one break at Hixon to wipe off the lights... I didn't want to be another asshole out of the roads. It continued to snow - there is more snow than I've seen in - well at least 10 years - it seems to be similiar to the dump we got at university in '96. Andy has been clearing the drive way a couple of times a day - or had been - now it is warm - a mild 4 degrees and melting.
Well tonight is my staff christmas party and I still have work to do so I better get on it. Prayers to Sarah's friend on the Island - check her blog for more details. We could be a regular prayer hotline at this pace. :)
Saturday, December 02, 2006
oh santa
Today was the School District's staff santa day. They give out gifts to all staff with children and grandchildren. Lucky us, we fell into the second category and got to go and see Santa. It started at 11am and by 11:15 there was a choir singing. Then in the middle of the first song, one of the girls takes a step forward and proceeds to have seizure on the left of the stage. With that my mom runs up and helps out... one of the few people who knew what to do... I was little surprised that there weren't more people there with first aid - or something - I even knew what to do... in any case - mom went to the rescue and the performance carried on - which seemed odd to me, but I guess the girl also had panic attacks and wanted them to carry on to take the focus off of her.
At 11:35 Santa arrived with Ms Claus and they began handing out gifts. Michael was one of the first - then we waited another 45 minutes for Kyle's... it was long - but fun. Mom came back and joined us after a while... I'll get to her part of the story in a moment. We took the boys home with their gifts so they could open them with Grandpa and Dad. Kyle got a model mini cooper and Michael got some new tub toys, we happily played with them tonight.
Here is Kyle, Michael and Grandma, just before the magical events began.
Here is Michael not really enjoying the whole Santa experience - he was actually a good sport - my picture just caught him during the worst of it.
Here is Kyle, thoroughly enjoying his minute with Santa.
Alright - so you've seen the cute kid pictures - what about the story of my crazy momma... well the poor girl that had the seizure was epileptic and forgot to take her medicine this morning - lucky her - she was going to meet a healer today... lord love a duck (my favorite Paula saying) - mom went into great detail with me about how it proceeded - mom told the girl that her aura (yes, I just wrote aura) was too close to her and that there was something else wrong. Mom told the girl that she should stop taking whatever else she was on (drugs) because it wasn't helping her, she touched her head at the end of the sitting session and told her she had given her some energy - to which the girl said, what happened, I feel so much better, then other people came and talked with her and mom told her that her aura was starting to look better... when we got home - my dad did not get this version - mom actually got caught in a couple of "truths" that she had told me one thing and him another and had to sit through us going - WHAT? What are you talking about? So there it is - my classic mother.
At 11:35 Santa arrived with Ms Claus and they began handing out gifts. Michael was one of the first - then we waited another 45 minutes for Kyle's... it was long - but fun. Mom came back and joined us after a while... I'll get to her part of the story in a moment. We took the boys home with their gifts so they could open them with Grandpa and Dad. Kyle got a model mini cooper and Michael got some new tub toys, we happily played with them tonight.
Alright - so you've seen the cute kid pictures - what about the story of my crazy momma... well the poor girl that had the seizure was epileptic and forgot to take her medicine this morning - lucky her - she was going to meet a healer today... lord love a duck (my favorite Paula saying) - mom went into great detail with me about how it proceeded - mom told the girl that her aura (yes, I just wrote aura) was too close to her and that there was something else wrong. Mom told the girl that she should stop taking whatever else she was on (drugs) because it wasn't helping her, she touched her head at the end of the sitting session and told her she had given her some energy - to which the girl said, what happened, I feel so much better, then other people came and talked with her and mom told her that her aura was starting to look better... when we got home - my dad did not get this version - mom actually got caught in a couple of "truths" that she had told me one thing and him another and had to sit through us going - WHAT? What are you talking about? So there it is - my classic mother.
let's get this holiday season started
Carmen posted this cute little quiz link over at her blog - if you want to get into the holiday spirit I suggest stopping by to see all her decorations and other fun stuff. It turns out that I'm a candy cane. :) I tried to post the quiz here, but became more work than I felt like this afternoon and Carmen's link is just as good - plus then you can explore a bit.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
pictures, at long last
So I've been meaning to load pictures for a while - my apologies for the delay. It is cold here... not as cold as where aunti jenni is, but it is cold - last night we got near -30, but today brought some delightful -10 ish weather. It snowed today so the roads are starting to go in the crapper, but it will be nice to see the weather break. You can't do much of anything in this weather...
So here is Kyle with the snowman we made during the first couple days of November.
They melted the very next day. They were cute while they lasted.
Here's Kyle being ever so cute in the snow. He was a great sport.
He didn't do much of the rolling - so I got a great workout.
Those snowmen heads were HEAVY!
Here is Aunti Jenni, Derrell, Uncle Phil (holding Kyle) and Phil (Jenni's son)
This was the ten minutes we saw him at our house. He had terrible luck
flying into Quesnel and then had to head back before we got to visit with
him again. Hopefully he will come and visit us again soon...
Here is Michael at Grandma & Grandpa's - checking everything out.
Here is Grandpa giving the boys a ride. Yee haw!
Thursday, November 23, 2006
to do list
For those of you counting it is now 30 days until Christmas. Kyle is counting the seconds to Santa's arrival. I'm not really doing much of anything for Christmas this year, specifically in the present department. We've decided to keep it pretty light on the gifts and try to focus more about family... or that is what I'm telling myself anyway. We will get a few things for the boys, but that is about it - well except for a few homemade treats/surprises... which brings me to my to do list.
I've been told that I'm to stay away from work in December.... great - so that means that I have a lot of time to finish all my scrapbooking and my powerpoint gift for my grandma. I'm also working on a story book about my grandma who passed away. Paula showed me a scrapbook her friend did when her mom passed away and I want to do something similar, while also capturing some of the stories we have for my grandma. For my family reading - if you have anything - a short recollection or even something long winded - your stories help us all remember and I don't won't those pieces to be lost. Please share them - email me at aakcheng@gmail.com
Today was a rough day on that front. I had to proof my grandma's obituary. I nearly started crying in the newspaper office, but held it together... I'm trying to not let the pain of it all get to me. I manage to squeak in some of ER and found myself pretty upset over the woman in the bus telling Lockheart about her son... I guess there will always be triggers.
As you can see by my little temperature on your left, it is DAMN cold in Quesnel. I'm freezing... I'm going to finish this up and get to bed. I just want to be cuddled and fall asleep in the arms of my beautiful husband. Good night friends and countrymen - thank you for lending your ear. :)
Note to Paula - to post all you have to do is make an account - user name and password - why am I mentioning this - well I was wondering if the temperature thing you gave me is broken or if they just don't work in negative temperatures....
I've been told that I'm to stay away from work in December.... great - so that means that I have a lot of time to finish all my scrapbooking and my powerpoint gift for my grandma. I'm also working on a story book about my grandma who passed away. Paula showed me a scrapbook her friend did when her mom passed away and I want to do something similar, while also capturing some of the stories we have for my grandma. For my family reading - if you have anything - a short recollection or even something long winded - your stories help us all remember and I don't won't those pieces to be lost. Please share them - email me at aakcheng@gmail.com
Today was a rough day on that front. I had to proof my grandma's obituary. I nearly started crying in the newspaper office, but held it together... I'm trying to not let the pain of it all get to me. I manage to squeak in some of ER and found myself pretty upset over the woman in the bus telling Lockheart about her son... I guess there will always be triggers.
As you can see by my little temperature on your left, it is DAMN cold in Quesnel. I'm freezing... I'm going to finish this up and get to bed. I just want to be cuddled and fall asleep in the arms of my beautiful husband. Good night friends and countrymen - thank you for lending your ear. :)
Note to Paula - to post all you have to do is make an account - user name and password - why am I mentioning this - well I was wondering if the temperature thing you gave me is broken or if they just don't work in negative temperatures....
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
finding the groove
My sister flew home this morning. She was sadly missed by Kyle and Michael. Kyle has officially named our guest suite as Aunti Mel's room. So consider yourself to have a permenant home with us. :) Thank you for coming to stay with us. The 'air' about you will be sorely missed :)
I'm tired tonight, but have found my groove working - desperately trying to catch up on mounds of work. Letting two jobs go for a week is proving to be more difficult than a thought to get back in to.
I've started drinking coffee again. This morning before we left Quesnel we stopped for breakfast pick me ups from A & W (blah) , when the drive thru window open I nearly changed my order to just coffee - with a side of coffee. I'm trying to keep it to a minimum - I don't want to get dependent on it - but... oh the smell... mmmm coffee orgasm in three, two, one.. aaaahhhhhh. Thank you - was it as good for you as it was for me :)
Ok - I'm in better spirits tonight and I really should carry on with my work. Nightie night.
I'm tired tonight, but have found my groove working - desperately trying to catch up on mounds of work. Letting two jobs go for a week is proving to be more difficult than a thought to get back in to.
I've started drinking coffee again. This morning before we left Quesnel we stopped for breakfast pick me ups from A & W (blah) , when the drive thru window open I nearly changed my order to just coffee - with a side of coffee. I'm trying to keep it to a minimum - I don't want to get dependent on it - but... oh the smell... mmmm coffee orgasm in three, two, one.. aaaahhhhhh. Thank you - was it as good for you as it was for me :)
Ok - I'm in better spirits tonight and I really should carry on with my work. Nightie night.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
a long time gone
As you, my dear readers, have likely guessed my grandma passed away. She left us on Monday November 6 and we had her funeral on Friday November 10. It has been a hard couple of days and I don't believe that the pain of it all will ease any time soon. It seems that every time I turn a corner or look at something I have a recollection of her.
Her funeral was the first I've ever been to. When we intially walked in I was shocked by how few people were there. I had a rage and anger... the reverend began to speak and was pointed in a different direction and explained that the family was sitting seperately. Her eulogy and songs took 40 minutes. The songs weren't good - I didn't agree with the choices - and I didn't agree with the eulogy. I was left open mouthed when the reverend said that grandma had been in a relationship that brought my uncle rick into the world before her marriage with my grandfather and summarized with a 'but things happen'. I sat there open mouthed for a while... I couldn't believe it. I don't know if anyone else was a shocked as I was. I knew, but I didn't think it needed to be announced at her funeral. I felt kind of drunk during the eulogy. I didn't know what to do with myself - I felt giggly and then without warning I broke down. I cried threw the entire last song. When we left I watched as my family broke down. I turned away and cried. We went to her tea and it was terrible seeing all the sad faces. My other grandma sat with us, she asked how I was - I said fine and then I told Andy I needed to leave. I left the tea and cried outside for a while. I was disappointed with the eulogy and myself for grieving. I know - that sounds crazy but I'm not comfortable with feeling like that.
Andy, being the great man that he is, talked things through with me and we went back in for a while. The tea was about an hour. Afterward some family came to my house and we had some snacks and just hung out.
Last night my mom came by and it was decided that I was to get one of grandma's things - this is pretty weird because they haven't been giving away anything as her will hasn't been evaluated. She handed me her bible. They gave it to me because she had kept newspaper clippings of me in it... there weren't any other pictures of or notes to anyone else. It hurt to take it.
I went through it page by page last night, looking for her hand writing and underlining. She had written on at least a hundred pages and I only made it half way. I didn't realize how important the bible had been to her. I spent many a thursday afternoon in bible study with her and going to church on sunday with her but I had it in my head that she liked breaking the rules of the church and didn't really care. I was wrong. She loved her God and I missed it. Seeing her handwriting made me hurt even more because I know that I will never get anything else with her handwriting on it. I won't get a christmas card this year saying she loved me this year.
Something I'm really struggling with right now is that this is only the beginning of loss. I know I can't live like that but that is how it feels. How many other people will I lose? How many people will lose me? Am I being selfish? Should I believe that there is something else after death? Did she really go to a better place? That is what is really killing me inside, the uncertainty of it all. I want there to be more - I want to believe that there is something else to this life but right now I'm not believing it - something in me is saying that that was truly it. She lived her life and loved us all and we loved her and that is it. She's gone and we are left to grieve our loss.
What do I take away from all of this? I know that I can be a better person. I know that I need to really look at what is important to me and what isn't, because there really aren't as many hours or days as I thought there would be. I need to go and have a shower. I hope that my future posts will be a bit more up beat and not so depressing. Thank you for reading and thank you for your thoughts and prayers through all this.
Her funeral was the first I've ever been to. When we intially walked in I was shocked by how few people were there. I had a rage and anger... the reverend began to speak and was pointed in a different direction and explained that the family was sitting seperately. Her eulogy and songs took 40 minutes. The songs weren't good - I didn't agree with the choices - and I didn't agree with the eulogy. I was left open mouthed when the reverend said that grandma had been in a relationship that brought my uncle rick into the world before her marriage with my grandfather and summarized with a 'but things happen'. I sat there open mouthed for a while... I couldn't believe it. I don't know if anyone else was a shocked as I was. I knew, but I didn't think it needed to be announced at her funeral. I felt kind of drunk during the eulogy. I didn't know what to do with myself - I felt giggly and then without warning I broke down. I cried threw the entire last song. When we left I watched as my family broke down. I turned away and cried. We went to her tea and it was terrible seeing all the sad faces. My other grandma sat with us, she asked how I was - I said fine and then I told Andy I needed to leave. I left the tea and cried outside for a while. I was disappointed with the eulogy and myself for grieving. I know - that sounds crazy but I'm not comfortable with feeling like that.
Andy, being the great man that he is, talked things through with me and we went back in for a while. The tea was about an hour. Afterward some family came to my house and we had some snacks and just hung out.
Last night my mom came by and it was decided that I was to get one of grandma's things - this is pretty weird because they haven't been giving away anything as her will hasn't been evaluated. She handed me her bible. They gave it to me because she had kept newspaper clippings of me in it... there weren't any other pictures of or notes to anyone else. It hurt to take it.
I went through it page by page last night, looking for her hand writing and underlining. She had written on at least a hundred pages and I only made it half way. I didn't realize how important the bible had been to her. I spent many a thursday afternoon in bible study with her and going to church on sunday with her but I had it in my head that she liked breaking the rules of the church and didn't really care. I was wrong. She loved her God and I missed it. Seeing her handwriting made me hurt even more because I know that I will never get anything else with her handwriting on it. I won't get a christmas card this year saying she loved me this year.
Something I'm really struggling with right now is that this is only the beginning of loss. I know I can't live like that but that is how it feels. How many other people will I lose? How many people will lose me? Am I being selfish? Should I believe that there is something else after death? Did she really go to a better place? That is what is really killing me inside, the uncertainty of it all. I want there to be more - I want to believe that there is something else to this life but right now I'm not believing it - something in me is saying that that was truly it. She lived her life and loved us all and we loved her and that is it. She's gone and we are left to grieve our loss.
What do I take away from all of this? I know that I can be a better person. I know that I need to really look at what is important to me and what isn't, because there really aren't as many hours or days as I thought there would be. I need to go and have a shower. I hope that my future posts will be a bit more up beat and not so depressing. Thank you for reading and thank you for your thoughts and prayers through all this.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Somnambulism
Also known as sleep walking. Mine is back with a venegance right now. I've been trying to control it by putting up obstacles, but it isn't working. I'm able to get up walk to Michael's room, climb over the gate and then - well some nights I'm sleeping there for a while and then coming back to my bed, some nights I'm picking Michael up and bringing him to my bed... it is driving me crazy! Worse, I don't know if I'm doing anything else - I'm scared to video tape me doing it because... well the idea of it creeps me out - there are too many what if I'm doing... ???? who knows what... I think it is about not getting enough sleep and my body hears Michael make a sound and that is the reaction - just get up - get him and go back to full sleep... I don't want him in my bed though - so if anyone has any helpful hints - I will happily accept them.
My grandma was finally moved to palliative care on the weekend. She had a bowel obstruction as a result of the meds used for fixing her arm. They put in a gastric tube which runs from your stomach out your nose - not nice - that was in until last night. She pulled it out at 2am. There was talk that once that was out she would go quickly - probably with in 6 hours, because (to be blunt) she would drowned. Because she is in a palliative bed now they have stopped feeding her, she is also only getting teaspoons of water - so her stomach isn't overloading like they had anticipated. At this point, they have removed all her IV's and she is getting morphine every 30 minutes, plus she is wearing a couple of drug patches. She seems comfortable. It has been eye opening and heart wrenching to visit her and see her boys (my dad and uncles) try to talk with her and try to make peace with themselves that she isn't going to be her much longer. The morphine is causing her breaths to slow. She will take a long breath and then hold it for 15 or 20 seconds. This has increased over the past two days.
I don't know how I thought I was going to deal with this, but I'm not coping very well. With Andy gone and very few breaks from the kids I've lost it a few times. I break down every time I leave the hospital. I've been going at least once a day. I don't need to say anything anymore - I talked to her at the beginning of the week... now it just hurts to say anything. My uncle sat with her today and gave her some water and I just wanted to breakdown. I held it together because I don't feel super comfortable crying with them - the men, even women, in my family don't really show a lot of emotion - well all except anger - I've seen loads of that :)
I guess this is all part of grief, and as a first timer to it I'm struggling - and that is being kind. I can't believe what some of my family and friends have already had to experience and dealt with. What do you do? How did you cope? Today I thought about lunch and cried in the car all the way home because I knew that I could eat and she couldn't. Then I started thinking about what her last meal was and meals we'd had and it just snowballed on me. I barely made it home.
Well I don't want my blog to turn into the land of depression. I'm interested in your thoughts if you feel like sharing and I hope no one minds me spilling my guts like this. It is the only place I have right now to try to deal with it.
I better go - I need to clean up my kitchen - guests start arriving tomorrow. It is snowing here tonight - we've gotten about 2 inches in three hours... fun :)
My grandma was finally moved to palliative care on the weekend. She had a bowel obstruction as a result of the meds used for fixing her arm. They put in a gastric tube which runs from your stomach out your nose - not nice - that was in until last night. She pulled it out at 2am. There was talk that once that was out she would go quickly - probably with in 6 hours, because (to be blunt) she would drowned. Because she is in a palliative bed now they have stopped feeding her, she is also only getting teaspoons of water - so her stomach isn't overloading like they had anticipated. At this point, they have removed all her IV's and she is getting morphine every 30 minutes, plus she is wearing a couple of drug patches. She seems comfortable. It has been eye opening and heart wrenching to visit her and see her boys (my dad and uncles) try to talk with her and try to make peace with themselves that she isn't going to be her much longer. The morphine is causing her breaths to slow. She will take a long breath and then hold it for 15 or 20 seconds. This has increased over the past two days.
I don't know how I thought I was going to deal with this, but I'm not coping very well. With Andy gone and very few breaks from the kids I've lost it a few times. I break down every time I leave the hospital. I've been going at least once a day. I don't need to say anything anymore - I talked to her at the beginning of the week... now it just hurts to say anything. My uncle sat with her today and gave her some water and I just wanted to breakdown. I held it together because I don't feel super comfortable crying with them - the men, even women, in my family don't really show a lot of emotion - well all except anger - I've seen loads of that :)
I guess this is all part of grief, and as a first timer to it I'm struggling - and that is being kind. I can't believe what some of my family and friends have already had to experience and dealt with. What do you do? How did you cope? Today I thought about lunch and cried in the car all the way home because I knew that I could eat and she couldn't. Then I started thinking about what her last meal was and meals we'd had and it just snowballed on me. I barely made it home.
Well I don't want my blog to turn into the land of depression. I'm interested in your thoughts if you feel like sharing and I hope no one minds me spilling my guts like this. It is the only place I have right now to try to deal with it.
I better go - I need to clean up my kitchen - guests start arriving tomorrow. It is snowing here tonight - we've gotten about 2 inches in three hours... fun :)
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Halloween
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