pay it forward

From a previous post by Jen
"Something you once did, if I remember correctly, and don't know if you still do, so I thought I'd ask.

There was the "pay it forward" craze a few years back. People would do nice deeds in the hopes of making the world a better place, etc. I'm not a "big gesture" person, but figured I was doing my part by doing the little things constantly. You know, letting people go first, holding a door, that sort of thing. (The rare times I don't, I feel sooooo guilty for not.)

So, I hold the door going into Starbucks one morning a little while ago for a woman coming from the bank. She's in line before me, but I'm not in a rush. She buys my beverage for me, and then says that it was her day to do something nice for someone, and because I was nice and held the door open for her, it was me. Now all I had to do was do something nice for someone else.

Am I confused about this methodology because it didn't make sense, or am I just a confuzzled person?

Just thought you might be the one to ask. It's been bugging me for months now. :) "

I do believe in pay it forward, and I'm a door opener for sure. In fact, I've been known to hold it open too long. I was also confused by the situation you noted - I would say that you had paid it forward because you initiated the good deed. I don't think that good deeds have to mean you must pay for something or use cash to do something good.

This whole pay it forward thing makes me think of Stephen Covey and the 8th habit. The whole idea of the book is to live your best life and encourage others to do the same. He suggests that each day you think about these four things - (my edited version)
1) Live like you had a heart attack (this one I'm not sure about - I think we should live like we want our children to live... something like that might be better)
2) Believe that your profession will end in two years - prepare for it - which I think means he wants you to work better - not work like you want to screw over everyone you work with.. as much as some of us might like to....
3) (my favorite and hardest one to practice) assume that everything you say about someone else is being over heard by them - speak accordingly
4) Believe that you meet with your creator every four months - live accordingly - this one is hard for me because I'm not overly into God and holy stuff. I'm reading one of the dali lama's books right now - but everytime I read it - well I get worked up about something - he is all about kindness should be given to everyone - even your foes and I start thinking about my foes and then I have to put the book down.... so I'm working on it.

(Hi Gary & Yoshie - in case you are reading here... thanks for the chat tonight)

Do others pay it forward? Are you kind without question?

On another note I'm also reading Allison Dubois - the medium - anyone else read this? What do you think.... and now I will share this - this happened before I started reading this book - I was sitting with Michael - getting him dressed for the day - he was saying hi, hi, hi and then he looked over my shoulder - he smiled and (for the first time that I saw) put his hand to his mouth and proceeded to blow a kiss. He was definitely NOT looking at me or blowing it to me and when I asked him to blow me a kiss he looked at me like I was chopped liver. I immediately thought Andy was behind me but when I checked we were alone. Now I know this is going to sound stupid but I used to blow kisses to my grandma from the car all the time. Our routine when I was a kid was to say goodbye a million times and then 'see you later alligator, in a while crocodile' and then blow kisses from the car... now it could all just be coincidence and just off that he decided to blow his first kiss to the wall/door frame but when it happened it made me think of her and made me kind of hope that what I'm reading now might be true. Her book also creeps me out because... well who is watching you during those intimate moments - or those not so pleasant moments in life... do they watch then? is this all crap and we all just go into the ground and that is all there... I can't believe it - I need there to be more.... alright - I've ranted - I'm off to bed - thank you jen and sorry for my delayed response.