Merry Christmas

Well like my title says - Merry Christmas - I hope you all have great days with your friends and family. I'm just heading off to tuck myself in for a couple of hours before Kyle wakes up and realizes that "santa" has been here. I can only hope that he is a better child then me and my brother and sister were... we use to stay up all night - like all night - and keep pestering my parents - is it time? is it time? come on come on come on...

My eyes are starting to seal themselves shut so I better get to bed. Best wishes to you all!

heaven

I caught some of the Barbara Walter's special tonight on heaven and found it to be quite interesting. I would love to hear what everyone else thought about it - if you managed to catch it.

Basically she talked to people from a lot of different religions and non-religious walks of life and asked about their heaven - was there one, what did it look like, who got in. There was a scientist who said there was a heaven gene - which meant that those people with the "mutated gene" felt more spiritual than others - not that they were closer to God, but that they had a passion about some form of spirituality and this gene made them able to believe easier.

The American Atheist Association(?) seemed to get the worst of it. It seemed like the questioning was different - like - come on join the rest of us - we all believe in something - don't you believe in anything - come on, come on - if millions of us think this way we must be right and you must be wrong... come on - she wasn't buying. So now I've said the atheists got the worst of it - that is compared to the jihadist she had on - who had pretty easy questions - although Barbara proudly didn't want to say anything that would get her in too much shit. I commend her for asking such a diverse group and showing people like me that there are lots of thoughts on what will happen when we die.

What do you think? Where do we go - just into the ground? is there more? I started writing a novel about this topic - fiction - it followed four lives and took them to different endings - heaven, hell, reincarnation, a little bit of everything. I stopped writing it because I feel like I dwell on death too much and that makes me nervous. I would hate to pass away and be thinking about how it was all going to end. I worry enough about stuff without throwing that into the cake mix too. I seriously think that I have some kind of disorder - probably just ADHD - but my brain seems to go in all kinds of directions - all the time... yep - sounds like ADHD... good grief

enough enough.... I better get back to scrapbooking. I will post pictures tomorrow of my work.... my (cross your fingers) completed work.

what the heck is this

It's Christmas - we are joyous... we are trying...

Tonight while Andy was painting the bathroom (yes, it will be finished for Christmas hooray) I saw this little critter climbing across the ceiling... anyone every seen one of these before... I thought maybe it was a festive bug - sporting two antlers for the holiday season - but alas they are attached - yes, I now have the heeby-jeebys and wonder if he has any buddies...

more christmas quizzes

I sit here with a swollen lip and some anger... but I'm trying to get over it. Michael head butted me about as hard as his little head could tonight and my lip is paying for it - and my jaw. I felt like my mouth was on fire, but I just laid him down in bed (we were already in bed mode) and left the room. He bawled his eyes out, but I just needed a break. He finally went to sleep... hooray! Now I'm just going to put together some packages and get a little scrapbookin' done. I finished my grandma's scrapbook last night so I'm very happy about that - I just hope she likes it.

I took the kids to a friends christmas party today. My friend has nine christmas trees and her house is better than Martha's... I'm sure of it. She takes a lot of pride in her Christmas ornaments and displays - enter the boys... lordy lordy lordy - first I showed up way to early - thinking the party was right at noon - nope... but we just hung out... the kids were actually pretty good, but there were a few moments where it could have gotten ugly... I won't go into all the gruesome details but we left with no broken ornaments and we left first so my friend had time to vent to the other women if she needed to :)

And now for a quiz to get you in the holiday mood -
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper
2. Real tree or artificial? Artificial - but not by choice... I will confess that this year it is more practical because we are leaving on boxing day, but I'm not in love with the hand-me-down fake one.
3. When do you put up the tree? Usually the first weekend in December
4. When do you take the tree down? I like to do it before my birthday (29th) but it usually stays up until New Years.
5. Do you like eggnog? Um - YES - but not a lot anymore - and not the low fat kind - BLAH!
6. Favourite gift received as a child? That is a hard question - nothing is even sticking out for me - I remember getting a jello cookbook the same year my sister (i love you) got a keyboard and I was pretty upset - oh then one year I got a porcelain doll - but I'd asked for it about three years earlier... I always loved getting pjs - not so much anymore...
7. Do you have a nativity scene? nope
8. Hardest person to buy for? my brother - and I've given up shopping for him as a result
9. Easiest person to buy for? all the woman in my life
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? is this a joke - those who send me email christmas cards will be laughed at
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I received a brick in 2001.
12. Favourite Christmas Movie? I've always liked the one with Mary Steenbrenner? when she loses everything and then gets it all back... I also like the Muppets Christmas Show (not the Mupper Christmas Carol), Garfield Christmas and Scrooged
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I'm always looking for that perfect gift
14.Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yes - I will admit it!
15. Favourite Christmas treat? is turkey a treat? I like turtles but I never buy them because I know that my love of these is not a good thing.
16. Favourite Christmas song? Oh Come All Ye Faithful - Barenaked Ladies (it's actually my ringtone right now)
17. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home Christmas Day then one the road
18. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? yes
19. What's on top of your tree? A lame star
20. Do you have Jesus in your heart this Christmas? I think the holiday spirit is with me - not so sure if that means Jesus or not
22. Favourite ornament theme or color? I left silver and white with red...
23. Favourite Christmas dinner? when all my family is around... although if the question is supposed to be what was your fav christmas dinner i would probably saw it was in res. with all my friends - there was 16/17 of us and we had a great meal - we were all dressed up and I will always remember it
24. What do you most want for Christmas? I want this (it's a video so it might take a minute to load - thanks paula)

steps

Michael took his first steps on Monday night. He has been motoring around the furniture and anything that will support his weight for months, but he finally took the first two alone steps. Michael is now 11 months old and the chattest baby I've met. He is very independent and knows what he wants and has no problems in voicing his opinion on things. It is all a learning curve as Kyle didn't do anything the same. He definitely keeps us on our toes.

We went to PG yesterday to pick up some new lights for the bathroom and kitchen. We stayed the day and did a tour of candy cane lanes. (Carmen, we stopped by your place but nobody was home... I guess we will have to catch you in the New Year - great display! - is there a contest for lighting houses in your neighborhood?)

Not much else new here. I'm trying to finish scrapbooking projects and a variety of other things. I managed to get all my christmas cards in the mail today - so hooray for that! One less thing to do before we had to the coast. We will be in Vancouver from the 27th to Jan 2.

Well I better go and get some sleep if I want to actually accomplish stuff tomorrow. Hugs and kisses :)

Getting to know me :)

Here is a little getting to know me quiz from Carmen's blog. Please feel free to cut and paste the quiz and showcase it on your site. Let me know you've done it and I will add links at the bottom for those who've completed it.

Put an x next to the items that apply to you.
[ ] Short, 5'2 and under
[ ] 5'3 -5'6"
[x] 5'7" - 6'0
[ ] Tall 6'2 and up

NATURALLY
[x] Blonde
[ ] Redhead
[ ] Brunette
[ ] Dirty blonde
[ ] Dark brown
[ ] Light brown
[ ] Black
[ ] Orange
[ ] Kind of both blond n red
[ ] Kind of both brown n red
[ ] Kind of both brunette and black

Eyes
[x] Blue-eyed
[ ] Brown-eyed
[ ] Green-eyed
[ ] Hazel eyed
[ ] Dark eyed (dark brown)
[ ] Gold/gray-eyed
[ ] Silver/gray- eyed
[ ] Blue/green-eyed
[ ] Blue/gray-eyed
[ ] They change colors
[ ] Other
[ ] Glasses
[ ] Contacts
[ ] Neither
[ ] Both

Hair
[ ] Short hair
[ ] Medium
[x] Long hair

Your favorite color(s) are?
[x] Red
[ ] Pink
[ ] Yellow
[ ] Black
[ ] Green
[ ] Neon green
[ ] Blue
[ ] White
[ ] Turquoise
[x] Silver
[ ] Purple
[ ] Brown
[ ] Orange
[ ] Grey
[x] Maroon
[ ] Gold
[ ] Deep purple
[ ] Blood red

Some things you've done or have attempted to do:
[x] Ice skating
[x] Hiking
[ ] Kayaking
[ ] Rafting
[ ] Water skiing
[x] Camping
[x] Horseback riding
[ ] Surfing and skim/wake boarding
[x] Snowboarding
[x] Skiing (cross country for me )
[ ] Skateboarding
[ ] Cheerleading
[x] Lacrosse
[x] Street hockey
[x] Ice hockey
[x] Gymnastics - when I was four - does that count?
[ ] Martial arts
[ ] BMX
[ ] Baton twirling

You CAN'T stand listening to?
[ ] Pop
[ ] Country
[ ] Christian
[ ] Classical
[ ] Techno
[ ] Oldies
[ ] Opera
[ ] Reggae
[ ] 80's
[ ] Disco
[ ] Hip hop
[ ] Punk
[ ] Rap
[ ] Hardcore

The pets you have/had?
[x] Cat
[x] Dog
[ ] Lizard {salamanders}
[ ] Rat
[x] Ferret
[x] Bunny
[x] Fish
[x] Duck
[x] Horse
[ ] Bird
[x] Frog
[ ] Hermit crab
[ ] Prairie dog
[ ] Turtle
[ ] Hamster
[ ] Snake
[ ] Gerbil
[ ] Guinea pig
[x] Pig
[x] Goat
[ ] Chinchilla
[ ] Tarantula
[ ] Squid
[ ] Geese
[ ] Chicken/rooster
[ ] Hedgehog
[ ] Mouse
[x] Sasquatch (this is to see if you've really been reading all this)

Provinces/Territories I have been to:
[x] Alberta
[x] British Columbia
[ ] Manitoba
[ ] New Brunswick
[ ] Newfoundland & Labrador
[ ] Northwest Territories
[ ] Nova Scotia
[ ] Nunavut
[x] Ontario
[ ] Prince Edward Island
[ ] Quebec
[ ] Saskatchewan
[ ] Yukon

Your confessions:
[ ] I'm afraid of quietness
[ ] I am really ticklish
[ ] I'm afraid of the dark when I'm by myself
[x] I've collected comic books
[x] I shut others out when I'm sad
[ ] I open up to others easily
[ ] I don't kill bugs
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name
[x] I bake well
[x] I have worn pajamas to class
[x] I love Martha Stewart
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS
[x] I love to laugh
[ ] I drink alcohol on a regular basis
[ ] I have tried a cigarette
[ ] I can't swallow pills
[x] I bite my nails
[ ] I play computer games
[x] Gotten lost in the city
[x] Gone out in public in your pajamas
[ ] Been skydiving
[ ] Been bungee jumping
[x] Bitten someone
[ ] Dressed up like the opposite sex
[x] Egged a house/car (pumpkined a house/car.... )
[x] Crashed into a car
[ ] Been fired

Have you ever...
[x] Stolen a sign (HA - SIGNS)
[x] Danced in the rain
[x] Seen a shooting star
[x] Proposed to anyone
[x] Gotten stitches
[x] Eaten Sushi
[x] Gotten the chicken pox
[x] Ridden in a taxi
[x] Been on a boat
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[x] Been on a Plane by yourself
[x] Had surgery
[x] Seen a movie more than 3 times in the theater (it pains me to share this but it was Cliffhanger and I went alone... lord - please feel free to laugh at me - I've also saw Alive (the cannibal movie) and A Bugs Life three times in theatre - pathetic - I know...
[x] Been on stage
[x] Gotten a black eye
[x] Memorized all the dialogue in a movie
[x] Watched an entire baseball game on TV (this is only because I lived with Susan for a while in university - I have not and would likely have never watched an entire game otherwise)

Do you like...
[ ] Old movies
[x] Musicals
[x] Music
[x] Foreign foods
[ ] Bukkake (ok for those that don't know what this is I've given you a link to follow - this is definitely R rated - so put on your plus 18 hats...
[ ] Anime
[x] Christmas time
[x] Donuts
[ ] Animals
[x] Coffee

Others who have completed this:
Carmen
Mel

the hand

On Tuesday we made our way to PG for my hand appointment. The roads weren't too bad. I was a little hesitate to go because we'd had a big dump the night before. We made it to PG where the City I guess forgot what to do when it snows - the PG roads were TERRIBLE. It has warmed up now so I'm sure mother nature has cleaned them up for the City by now.

We got to my appointment early and thankfully Andy and the boys went shopping. 10:20 I handed in my slip to the clinic and then I sat there and listened to at least 10 other people go and get casts replaced or put on. Some yelling, some crying - not fun. At 11:40 I was called in. I sat down - he looks at my hand - oh looks good - I reply 'well it doesn't feel good - it doesn't work like it used to' - oh give it time - it is still healing - your finger is still swollen... - all with a slight Arnold Swartznegger accent - I tell him I've been popping it to make it feel better - the other surgeon suggest that might help - 'stop doing that - that only causes inflamation' ARG - and that was it - I was probably in the room (screened off area) for three minutes! Thank you BC medical system! I know that I wasn't that important on their list but I was hoping he might say - hey I know it isn't feeling great yet, and I know I told you three days for recovery - but I guess I was wrong - would you like to take me out back and give me a punch - will that make you feel better - and I would have said no - I just want to complain about it on my blog. :)

So then we went for lunch and did some shopping. At 4pm I said let's do a little more shopping and just have dinner. And then another blizzard came in. At 7pm I started to make my way home. Andy and Michael slept, while Kyle watched a movie. We had one scary part - I will share now because I'm getting over it. I'm driving about 80 so I know I have time to slow for animals and vehicles. I come over this hill (10 km from Hixon) and I see a light - I'm not sure if it is on the road or not because of the white out conditions. I keep going the same rate of speed and soon enough the red light seems to be closer. It is a faint red light - I started to think it might be someone in the ditch. I get about 15 feet from it and then another car comes around the corner and see that I'm 15 feet from the ass of a red nosed reindeer. Ok - I couldn't resist - that was too easy. Ok - so I'm 15 feet from a rig that hasn't wiped off his lights. I'm just lucky that some extra light was shone on the road. I don't think I would have hit him but I could have lost control.

We made it home after 2 hours and one break at Hixon to wipe off the lights... I didn't want to be another asshole out of the roads. It continued to snow - there is more snow than I've seen in - well at least 10 years - it seems to be similiar to the dump we got at university in '96. Andy has been clearing the drive way a couple of times a day - or had been - now it is warm - a mild 4 degrees and melting.

Well tonight is my staff christmas party and I still have work to do so I better get on it. Prayers to Sarah's friend on the Island - check her blog for more details. We could be a regular prayer hotline at this pace. :)

oh santa

Today was the School District's staff santa day. They give out gifts to all staff with children and grandchildren. Lucky us, we fell into the second category and got to go and see Santa. It started at 11am and by 11:15 there was a choir singing. Then in the middle of the first song, one of the girls takes a step forward and proceeds to have seizure on the left of the stage. With that my mom runs up and helps out... one of the few people who knew what to do... I was little surprised that there weren't more people there with first aid - or something - I even knew what to do... in any case - mom went to the rescue and the performance carried on - which seemed odd to me, but I guess the girl also had panic attacks and wanted them to carry on to take the focus off of her.

At 11:35 Santa arrived with Ms Claus and they began handing out gifts. Michael was one of the first - then we waited another 45 minutes for Kyle's... it was long - but fun. Mom came back and joined us after a while... I'll get to her part of the story in a moment. We took the boys home with their gifts so they could open them with Grandpa and Dad. Kyle got a model mini cooper and Michael got some new tub toys, we happily played with them tonight.


Here is Kyle, Michael and Grandma, just before the magical events began.


Here is Michael not really enjoying the whole Santa experience - he was actually a good sport - my picture just caught him during the worst of it.

Here is Kyle, thoroughly enjoying his minute with Santa.

Alright - so you've seen the cute kid pictures - what about the story of my crazy momma... well the poor girl that had the seizure was epileptic and forgot to take her medicine this morning - lucky her - she was going to meet a healer today... lord love a duck (my favorite Paula saying) - mom went into great detail with me about how it proceeded - mom told the girl that her aura (yes, I just wrote aura) was too close to her and that there was something else wrong. Mom told the girl that she should stop taking whatever else she was on (drugs) because it wasn't helping her, she touched her head at the end of the sitting session and told her she had given her some energy - to which the girl said, what happened, I feel so much better, then other people came and talked with her and mom told her that her aura was starting to look better... when we got home - my dad did not get this version - mom actually got caught in a couple of "truths" that she had told me one thing and him another and had to sit through us going - WHAT? What are you talking about? So there it is - my classic mother.

let's get this holiday season started

Carmen posted this cute little quiz link over at her blog - if you want to get into the holiday spirit I suggest stopping by to see all her decorations and other fun stuff. It turns out that I'm a candy cane. :) I tried to post the quiz here, but became more work than I felt like this afternoon and Carmen's link is just as good - plus then you can explore a bit.

pictures, at long last

So I've been meaning to load pictures for a while - my apologies for the delay. It is cold here... not as cold as where aunti jenni is, but it is cold - last night we got near -30, but today brought some delightful -10 ish weather. It snowed today so the roads are starting to go in the crapper, but it will be nice to see the weather break. You can't do much of anything in this weather...

So here is Kyle with the snowman we made during the first couple days of November.
They melted the very next day. They were cute while they lasted.

Here's Kyle being ever so cute in the snow. He was a great sport.
He didn't do much of the rolling - so I got a great workout.
Those snowmen heads were HEAVY!

Here is Aunti Jenni, Derrell, Uncle Phil (holding Kyle) and Phil (Jenni's son)
This was the ten minutes we saw him at our house. He had terrible luck
flying into Quesnel and then had to head back before we got to visit with
him again. Hopefully he will come and visit us again soon...

Here is Michael at Grandma & Grandpa's - checking everything out.

Here is Grandpa giving the boys a ride. Yee haw!

to do list

For those of you counting it is now 30 days until Christmas. Kyle is counting the seconds to Santa's arrival. I'm not really doing much of anything for Christmas this year, specifically in the present department. We've decided to keep it pretty light on the gifts and try to focus more about family... or that is what I'm telling myself anyway. We will get a few things for the boys, but that is about it - well except for a few homemade treats/surprises... which brings me to my to do list.

I've been told that I'm to stay away from work in December.... great - so that means that I have a lot of time to finish all my scrapbooking and my powerpoint gift for my grandma. I'm also working on a story book about my grandma who passed away. Paula showed me a scrapbook her friend did when her mom passed away and I want to do something similar, while also capturing some of the stories we have for my grandma. For my family reading - if you have anything - a short recollection or even something long winded - your stories help us all remember and I don't won't those pieces to be lost. Please share them - email me at aakcheng@gmail.com

Today was a rough day on that front. I had to proof my grandma's obituary. I nearly started crying in the newspaper office, but held it together... I'm trying to not let the pain of it all get to me. I manage to squeak in some of ER and found myself pretty upset over the woman in the bus telling Lockheart about her son... I guess there will always be triggers.

As you can see by my little temperature on your left, it is DAMN cold in Quesnel. I'm freezing... I'm going to finish this up and get to bed. I just want to be cuddled and fall asleep in the arms of my beautiful husband. Good night friends and countrymen - thank you for lending your ear. :)

Note to Paula - to post all you have to do is make an account - user name and password - why am I mentioning this - well I was wondering if the temperature thing you gave me is broken or if they just don't work in negative temperatures....

finding the groove

My sister flew home this morning. She was sadly missed by Kyle and Michael. Kyle has officially named our guest suite as Aunti Mel's room. So consider yourself to have a permenant home with us. :) Thank you for coming to stay with us. The 'air' about you will be sorely missed :)

I'm tired tonight, but have found my groove working - desperately trying to catch up on mounds of work. Letting two jobs go for a week is proving to be more difficult than a thought to get back in to.

I've started drinking coffee again. This morning before we left Quesnel we stopped for breakfast pick me ups from A & W (blah) , when the drive thru window open I nearly changed my order to just coffee - with a side of coffee. I'm trying to keep it to a minimum - I don't want to get dependent on it - but... oh the smell... mmmm coffee orgasm in three, two, one.. aaaahhhhhh. Thank you - was it as good for you as it was for me :)

Ok - I'm in better spirits tonight and I really should carry on with my work. Nightie night.

a long time gone

As you, my dear readers, have likely guessed my grandma passed away. She left us on Monday November 6 and we had her funeral on Friday November 10. It has been a hard couple of days and I don't believe that the pain of it all will ease any time soon. It seems that every time I turn a corner or look at something I have a recollection of her.

Her funeral was the first I've ever been to. When we intially walked in I was shocked by how few people were there. I had a rage and anger... the reverend began to speak and was pointed in a different direction and explained that the family was sitting seperately. Her eulogy and songs took 40 minutes. The songs weren't good - I didn't agree with the choices - and I didn't agree with the eulogy. I was left open mouthed when the reverend said that grandma had been in a relationship that brought my uncle rick into the world before her marriage with my grandfather and summarized with a 'but things happen'. I sat there open mouthed for a while... I couldn't believe it. I don't know if anyone else was a shocked as I was. I knew, but I didn't think it needed to be announced at her funeral. I felt kind of drunk during the eulogy. I didn't know what to do with myself - I felt giggly and then without warning I broke down. I cried threw the entire last song. When we left I watched as my family broke down. I turned away and cried. We went to her tea and it was terrible seeing all the sad faces. My other grandma sat with us, she asked how I was - I said fine and then I told Andy I needed to leave. I left the tea and cried outside for a while. I was disappointed with the eulogy and myself for grieving. I know - that sounds crazy but I'm not comfortable with feeling like that.

Andy, being the great man that he is, talked things through with me and we went back in for a while. The tea was about an hour. Afterward some family came to my house and we had some snacks and just hung out.

Last night my mom came by and it was decided that I was to get one of grandma's things - this is pretty weird because they haven't been giving away anything as her will hasn't been evaluated. She handed me her bible. They gave it to me because she had kept newspaper clippings of me in it... there weren't any other pictures of or notes to anyone else. It hurt to take it.

I went through it page by page last night, looking for her hand writing and underlining. She had written on at least a hundred pages and I only made it half way. I didn't realize how important the bible had been to her. I spent many a thursday afternoon in bible study with her and going to church on sunday with her but I had it in my head that she liked breaking the rules of the church and didn't really care. I was wrong. She loved her God and I missed it. Seeing her handwriting made me hurt even more because I know that I will never get anything else with her handwriting on it. I won't get a christmas card this year saying she loved me this year.

Something I'm really struggling with right now is that this is only the beginning of loss. I know I can't live like that but that is how it feels. How many other people will I lose? How many people will lose me? Am I being selfish? Should I believe that there is something else after death? Did she really go to a better place? That is what is really killing me inside, the uncertainty of it all. I want there to be more - I want to believe that there is something else to this life but right now I'm not believing it - something in me is saying that that was truly it. She lived her life and loved us all and we loved her and that is it. She's gone and we are left to grieve our loss.

What do I take away from all of this? I know that I can be a better person. I know that I need to really look at what is important to me and what isn't, because there really aren't as many hours or days as I thought there would be. I need to go and have a shower. I hope that my future posts will be a bit more up beat and not so depressing. Thank you for reading and thank you for your thoughts and prayers through all this.

Somnambulism

Also known as sleep walking. Mine is back with a venegance right now. I've been trying to control it by putting up obstacles, but it isn't working. I'm able to get up walk to Michael's room, climb over the gate and then - well some nights I'm sleeping there for a while and then coming back to my bed, some nights I'm picking Michael up and bringing him to my bed... it is driving me crazy! Worse, I don't know if I'm doing anything else - I'm scared to video tape me doing it because... well the idea of it creeps me out - there are too many what if I'm doing... ???? who knows what... I think it is about not getting enough sleep and my body hears Michael make a sound and that is the reaction - just get up - get him and go back to full sleep... I don't want him in my bed though - so if anyone has any helpful hints - I will happily accept them.

My grandma was finally moved to palliative care on the weekend. She had a bowel obstruction as a result of the meds used for fixing her arm. They put in a gastric tube which runs from your stomach out your nose - not nice - that was in until last night. She pulled it out at 2am. There was talk that once that was out she would go quickly - probably with in 6 hours, because (to be blunt) she would drowned. Because she is in a palliative bed now they have stopped feeding her, she is also only getting teaspoons of water - so her stomach isn't overloading like they had anticipated. At this point, they have removed all her IV's and she is getting morphine every 30 minutes, plus she is wearing a couple of drug patches. She seems comfortable. It has been eye opening and heart wrenching to visit her and see her boys (my dad and uncles) try to talk with her and try to make peace with themselves that she isn't going to be her much longer. The morphine is causing her breaths to slow. She will take a long breath and then hold it for 15 or 20 seconds. This has increased over the past two days.

I don't know how I thought I was going to deal with this, but I'm not coping very well. With Andy gone and very few breaks from the kids I've lost it a few times. I break down every time I leave the hospital. I've been going at least once a day. I don't need to say anything anymore - I talked to her at the beginning of the week... now it just hurts to say anything. My uncle sat with her today and gave her some water and I just wanted to breakdown. I held it together because I don't feel super comfortable crying with them - the men, even women, in my family don't really show a lot of emotion - well all except anger - I've seen loads of that :)

I guess this is all part of grief, and as a first timer to it I'm struggling - and that is being kind. I can't believe what some of my family and friends have already had to experience and dealt with. What do you do? How did you cope? Today I thought about lunch and cried in the car all the way home because I knew that I could eat and she couldn't. Then I started thinking about what her last meal was and meals we'd had and it just snowballed on me. I barely made it home.

Well I don't want my blog to turn into the land of depression. I'm interested in your thoughts if you feel like sharing and I hope no one minds me spilling my guts like this. It is the only place I have right now to try to deal with it.

I better go - I need to clean up my kitchen - guests start arriving tomorrow. It is snowing here tonight - we've gotten about 2 inches in three hours... fun :)

Halloween

After weeks of 'I'm going to be a pirate for Halloween.' Kyle changed his mind two days before Halloween and asked to be a ghostbuster. So in a couple of hours we pulled together his costume. All homemade :)

How ya gonna call?

Michael sans costume. He wore a pumpkin outfit, but once it was on I didn't have a camera... he proceeded to sleep most of the night in it - but I wasn't thinking about my camera last night.

Here is Kyle at soccer. He was the only kid to show up in a costume. He reminded everyone throughout the session that he was a ghostbuster - as seen in this picture.

no locusts

HOORAY - NO CHICKENPOXS!

After 48 hours I took Michael with me to get my stitches out. As I was getting them out I asked about his rash and my doctor seemed to think that it might have been a reaction to the virus he was fighting on the weekend. I'm not sure if I believe that or not - but the bumps are gone and they didn't develop into anything else.

My stitches were painful to remove, but they are out and my hand is pretty much healed up - well the hole is healed. My doctor pulled one stitch out and says - oh I left some in there - it'll come out eventually - have a nice day... I'm like - WHAT?

So I got in the car and pulled it out - I don't know what the heck is wrong with him... like spending 30 more seconds trying to dig it out was putting a cramp in his day.

My hand is not what it use to be. I'm feeling things on the tendon that I didn't before - hopefully this is all part of the healing process. I see the surgeon in December. I might just call this week to ask because if this is the cure I might be looking for a refund... I guess I shouldn't complain too much - I don't have a claw for a hand... :)

Andy has been gone for two full weeks. I'm definitely going a little crazy. On the days that I'm really losing it I put the kids in the car and go for a drive. This way I don't have to chase them or listen to them yelling at each other as they both like the car. I don't drive for long but 15 minutes gives my mind a break.

I've started yoga and if I could find the time to do it without the kids I think I might actually enjoy it.

I've moved Michael into his big bed. I've had enough of the crib and he likes sleeping on a real bed. Every time he moved in his crib the mattress crinkled and I'm sure it woke him up on a number of occassions. Tonight is the first night he will sleep on the big mattress - I hope it goes well. He had his nap on it and that went fine. I've gated him in so he can't escape later tonight. Sleeping walking runs in the family :)

My grandma is worse. I think I mentioned that my grandfather changed her DNR status to a coded one, which means that she is getting treatment for everything. Her body is starting to give up the battle though. As a result of the status change they reset her arm and since then she has been getting sicker. Her bowel became obstructed earlier this week and they were going to perform surgery on that today but they can't get her temperature under control and so they gave up on the surgery. As a result of the obstruction everything is trying to come back up on her - so she has a number of tubes and equipment trying to keep her alive. Her kidneys aren't working very well right now and it doesn't sound like she will make the weekend. I'm hoping to go and see her tomorrow while Kyle is at school - we will see...

Anyway I should go clean up and get ready for bed. Hey, did the time change make anyone else's life terrible today... Kyle and Michael got up at 6... then they wanted meals all at the wrong times... arg! ok - good night.

I'm sure that locusts will be next...

So if things weren't bad enough it looks like Michael might have chickenpox. Last night I had an AGM and left the kids with my mom... it was my only choice as Michael has been sick and I couldn't turn him loose on another parent with kids. I got home to him crying his eyes out. Nothing appears to be too terrible though. She goes to play on the computer and that was it.

This morning she says she wants to go feed grandma. I say go for it, you can take my car. Just be back before 9am because Kyle needs to get to preschool. I got the kids ready at 8:40 and we went outside. At 9am I came inside and at 9:10 I called my cell, as I'd given it to her as a clock and reminder to be on time. 9:15 she rolls in.. 'sorry about that'. I told her I would drive her home... did I mention it was snowing... first day of snow here.... Anyway it is 9:30 before we leave town and I don't get to her house until 10:50. The entire way there I had to listen to the healer speech... I wanted to put my head through the windshield. It was a nightmare. I'm trying to be supportive, but it is becoming weirder by the day. She actually tried to tell a radiologist that she is telepathic and that radiology and telepathy are similar. I can just see the radiologist going... um sure... whatever... the crazy ward is upstairs...

I drop her off and zoom back to the daycare. Kyle finishes at noon. I made it there for 12:05... and 10 minutes of that was crossing the bridge into downtown. So I'm frustrated by all that and then we get home and change Michael. He has a rash all over his back, and stomach/chest. I called public health and they figure it is chickenpox. I called the rn hotline and they thought it might be more like an allergy. I just have to watch and wait now. If it blisters, it's chickenpox... if it doesn't do anything it is a rash or allergy and we can go see a doctor. Why the story about my mom and her sitting last night... well I can't be sure about what she fed the boys and maybe he had an allergic reaction to something she gave him... she didn't mention anything... although - everyone will recall her not mentioning that she pinched his chin... which is still visible on him.

I'm getting my stitches out on Friday - hooray. My finger is working pretty well. I'm not waking up with the claw. It is only bothering me when I try to use the tips of my fingers. This is supposed to be six weeks recovery... so I've got a ways to go before it is 100%. All that said I'm happy I went to PG for Emergency now... I can't imagine having gone through the weekend the way it was.

how many times can you go to the hospital...

I will start by saying this has been the worst week of my life. The last seven days have been a nightmare.

As noted previously, I had trigger finger surgery last Tuesday. By Friday I couldn't open my finger. I could get it to a point but nothing further. It was terrible. I was fearing the worst. Friday afternoon Michael had his 9 month check up. We got there 10 minutes early and waited another 40 minutes before we saw the doctor. Then he just went through a stupid list and then weighed Michael... he hasn't gained any weight, he is now just under 22 lbs. He didn't check his height - it was a waste of my time... of course I had to ask about my hand. I asked if it should be open by now, should I be able to straigten it.. 'I don't really know' 'you should go back to your surgeon' - I tell him that I called on Wednesday because I knew it was going well and they didn't call me back. I called on Thursday and was told that there office was closed until Monday. FABULOUS! My brilliant doctor says 'you should go back to PG, go to emergency - they'll be forced to call your surgeon in' - I have to drive back to PG with two kids and a terrible hand. So I call the PG hospital... why drive up there if they can make a phone call to him and ask. I get a bitch on the other end who won't help me. I explain that I'm trying to lessen their work load by calling, rather than just showing up... nothing... she continues to be a complete bitch. I hang up on her. I call the Quesnel hospital and call the health hotline. After going through the survey questions with the RN she says I should go back to PG. So I call the Quesnel hospital again and ask for th PG ER number - direct line - allowing me to skip the bitch. I accomplish this and they tell me - you should just come up if you are worried about it.

So at 3 in the afternoon I pack up Michael and Kyle and go to PG. We arrive at 5pm. We then sit in emergency until 6pm. ER doc says I need to wait for the oncall surgeon. At 6:50 the surgeon comes in and says 'the other surgeon should have told you to be stretching your finger' he pulls my finger as far as it would go on a good day. I want to cry, but I'm being strong. He says you have to do this. It feels like something kind of pops in my hand. I keep moving my fingers back and forth. It was painful... not childbirth painful... but it was enough.

After all this I decide I should go visit my grandma (backtrack - for whatever reason the decision was made to move my grandma to PG and get her arm rebroken and reset) She is upstairs and so after 20 minutes of hunting we find her. This was probably the worst part of the last few days... and it has been bad... she was lying in her bed with IV's and a white cloth with IV's on her head. She looked terrible. She didn't look alive. I asked how the surgery went. 'It didn't happen, she was bumped. She'll be staying with us until she is placed in the schedule.' She hasn't woken up since she arrived. I didn't try to wake her. After I left I wished I had. I wished that I had just gone up to her bed and told her I loved her. Seeing her like that broke my heart. I'm still choked up about it.

I took the kids back to the car. We had a pathetic dinner at Wendy's. I grabbed a crappy drink from starbucks and we drove home. We got home at about 9:30. Saturday was the beginning of Michael getting sick. His temperature started to go in the afternoon. It kept going. Sunday he was completely out of sorts. He didn't want to do anything. I took him to the walk in clinic, where the doctor didn't bother taking his temp. just decided that I was doing the right things and to keep doing that.... great... except that it wasn't helping Michael. At 5pm I gave him Tylenol and by 5:30 I didn't want to touch his skin it was sooo hot. He was 40.1. I took him to the ER and then he had a blood test and urine test. Everything came back fine. So there has been no resolution on whatever he has. I'm just hoping he cracks through it soon. Tonight he cried for more than an hour. His temps are still high but not into the 40's - thankfully.

Aunti Jenni that was why had to go so quick last night - I'm sorry we didn't get to chat. I will try and catch up with you again sometime this week.

I'm grumpy and tired so I should just go to bed. What is the upside? Well my finger is straight. Well mostly... my stitches make it pretty hard to straighten the right out, but it feels and looks better. My stitches are itchy, but that is very minor compared to everything else. I hope this week is better but I'm not holding out much hope on that with Michael being the way he is. I just hope Kyle doesn't catch whatever Michael has... I think this just might be him teething - both his top teeth are just poking through - seems a little much for teething though.

Good night lovies...

not for the squimish

So here is my gimp hand before the surgery.


Here is the mess they left me with. You can kind of make out where the stitches are not doing there job and the skin is pulling up and apart... frickin' fabulous


So here is today - Day 3 - now you can really see the mark that will be a life long scar for me... I will cry like George about not being able to be a hand model later ;) I, of course, called the surgeon and was told he would get back to me - I called today and his (of course) office is closed until Monday... so hooray for me... I am not feeling too bad today, however I'm still unable to do most things....

surgery

I had hand surgery yesterday. Right hand - trigger finger... not very confident it fixed it this morning. I've placed a call into my surgeons office because I'm so concerned. I've been told to give up putting my hand in water for five days- which I guess means the kids can't have baths... so I probably won't be able to do that... I've already removed the crappy bandage they put on yesterday as it was falling off and so thick that I couldn't do anything.

Yesterday was a miserable day. My mom was supposed to be here at 7am so I could make it to PG for 8:30. She showed up late and then decided to come with me. So I had to pack up the kids, get all the gear for the day and then drive like the wind. I was late and my mom didn't seem to care about any of it - being late and being annoying. ARG! I get to the surgery - they do their thing - a student does some of my stitches - which are NOT pretty. I'm definitely going to have a scar. Then I find mom and the kids outside the surgery room. We walk outside and she says oh I left the lights on - teehee - I wondered what that beeping sound was.... WHAT! Of course my car is half dead. I tell her to wait - my car likes to heal itself, hero style - but she is so inpatient that she keeps trying it - I finally get so frustrated that I just take the kids and we leave for a walk... of course she comes and then I have listen to more of her cult crap... 'i'm a healer, i'm going to get my naturopathy doctrate online... BLAH BLAH BLAH' I fumed all day... we get back to the car and of course - it starts and I laugh in her face because she was queen of 'it isn't going to start... blah blah blah... naturopathy' - we went to costco because I needed to do shopping - i knew the surgery wasn't going to kill me so I had planned a quiet day for myself - fat chance of that... ffff'''eerrrss.... anyway - I do my shopping - we grab lunch and then she says she will drive home - not that I can't - I had driven us from the hospital to costco because I was so mad... so she can't drive - she drives with the gas on hard and then kick brake! AAAAGGGGGGHHHHH! I couldn't wait to get home.... I get home and within five minutes of getting in the house she says well I better go I have stuff to do... I barely choked out a thank you for helping because SHE DIDN'T! I might as well had three kids yesterday... oh and (sorry for not telling andy this on the phone last night) she pinched michael - like HARD! She caught his chin between the buckle on his car seat... first let me say that accidents happen, i accept that but... - I'm outside the car when it happened and all I can hear is him crying - she's all - oh maybe he needs a bottle but momma april knows the cry of her injured young... I'm like - Um no he isn't he's hurt... 'no,no'.... then I see the welt on his poor little chin and I'm all 'um he's got a welt - he must have been pinched...' nothing - no - hey I'm sorry, hey I did it - nothing - no admission - she just goes on like nothing happened - AAAAHHHHH! It was the worst day... and then I had to deal with the rest of the night - I was so tired and sore that I just bought McDonald's for Kyle - which I was really try to avoid - me and Michael had left over wonton soup

well kyle will be done preschool in a couple of minutes so I better run - sorry about the rant - today has already been better - even with a swollen hand...

a letter

Dear Previous Owners Of Our Home,

Thank for selling us your house so quickly and giving us a discount on the price with one simple request. You asked no questions and we thought it was grand.

Thank you for leaving the mice behind in the cold room. It appears that they had a real feast in that room. Thank you for making us fear that we had the hanta virus. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to brush up our skills on bleaching wood and reconstruction.

Thank you for making sure that every wall and floor line in the house is not square. The 'Alice in Wonderland' feel should help us in resale value.

Thank you for cutting a whole in the countertop and covering it up. We also would like to say that the color purple everyone is a great added bonus. You, so cleverly, matching the grape wallpaper to the countertop was genius!

Thank you for deciding that insulation was not a necessity in exterior walls. We enjoy paying through the nose on gas bills. What a great way to ensure that I will never get to go on a vacation.

Thank you for giving my husband the opportunity to purchase numerous tools. He enjoys all of the tasks that now lay ahead of him. The list grows everyday and it always makes us smile.

I hope that you found an equally pleasant home and wish you the best.

Sincerely,

April

oh what a couple of days

Kyle's 4th birthday started out nicely. I had to take Michael to a 9am check up and was just walking out the door when the phone rang. It was my grandpa. He was crying and struggling to get out that grandma had fallen out of bed and she was hurt. Andy took the kids and I ran out the door. I live about a kilometre from them so I drove over and called 911 on the way. When I got there I saw a car in the driveway and felt better because the health worker was onsite and must have arrived between the call and my arrival... right.

So I walk in the house and I start to think that maybe I didn't get a phone call, maybe I made it up, because they were sitting having coffee, looking normal. So I ask, is everything ok? The health worker says she fell out of bed and I think she hurt her arm. So I go to grandma and ask, but I can already see. Her arm is twice as big as it should be and the cress where your hand mets your arm is black. I ask her if she is in pain, 'no'. Then I see she had also hit her head, the skin is scrapped and bruised but not broken.

I tell them that the ambulance should be here shortly and we wait. She is in no pain but should be. I would be cryin' my eyes out if my arm looked like that. The ambulance comes and I tell them about her alzheimers. They do the history and then ask when did this happen. I pipe up with, well I was called 20 minutes ago so within the last 25. The health worker then says, well it happened before I got her at 7:45... (WHAT!???) and then my grandpa says it happened at 12:30... I ask again because I figure I've heard wrong, nope - 12:30. He says he was in the chair and heard her roll out of bed. She didn't really complain so he picked her up (he's 82) and put her back to bed. I can't believe what I've heard. I can see my grandpa going, oh she is ok - maybe it's even happened before, and putting her back to bed. I don't understand why the health worker - who dressed my grandma - didn't think - gees that looks really bad and her head looks pretty bad - maybe I should call 911... nope she tells my grandpa to call family. I don't know what she should have done so I'm reserving judgement until we find out.

They cart my grandma away who is now complaining of hip and back pain and I follow her to the hospital. (Grandpa didn't want to come.) Long story short they find her wrist is broken and won't be getting surgery as she is DNR, and she is probably bleeding on her brain as a result of the head injury. They won't perform a scan of any kind as it is extraordinary care.

So all that happens - I call my dad and tell him what has happened. I talk to my mom at the hospital as she is working in xray and then I go home to finish Kyle's birthday cake. Kyle had two little girlfriends over for dinner, cake and presents. It was fun. He really liked having friends over. We went to a kids concert after and then called it a night. The kids went home from the concert.

Needless to say I was beat. So then Andy left today. I was a basketcase. Between everything that has gone on in the last 48 hours and now him leaving for Vancouver I just wanted to have a permanent breakdown. It was a short meltdown. I've done well all day. I had a season ending event for Rocky Mountaineer Vacations tonight and I think it was success. Good turnout for a Saturday night. My mom told me she was going to take the kids for the night... HOORAY... of course - like the cheesecake - it did not happen. No worries - the kids aren't crazy and we just hung out. Michael, unfortunately, was sick. He threw up and was just generally cranky. They are both asleep and I can only hope that I will get six hours of sleep in a row.... oh how great that would be.

So there you go... sorry for the depressing blog entry. I'm going to go and make my bed (yes Andy I'm putting sheets on it ... mmmuh ha ha hahaha), watch whatever trash is on tv for a half hour and then go to sleep. Tomorrow is clean up day - work clean up - I have to return the gear for tonights event and write a press release.

giants

I subscribe to monthly updates from parentcenter.babycenter.com. Today they sent their monthly thing out and it said it had a height predictor. I decided to punch in the info on the boys and see what it came up with. It takes into account the sex, current age, current height, weight and height of mom and dad to calculate the prediction. They go onto say that this method is pretty darn accurate - it will be right with 3 inches by 96%.

My (laughable) results:

Kyle at age 18 will be 7 (yes seven - one two three four five six seven) feet tall, and 2 inches... in case seven feet wasn't enough.

They can't calculate Michael's as you have to be at least 2 years old. So for all of you with two year olds I suggest you give it a try and see what your results are.

Height Predictor

four hours well spent

I bought a cake decorating kit for Kyle's birthday; so I could make some cool designs on it. I wanted to make sugar cookies so I made a batch and decorated them... then I decided to make some more... this batch was nearly 150 cookies. I think it probably took more than four hours in the end, but well worth it. I need to practice more - so everyone should expect similar ones at Christmas.

do you see anything?

pictures

Michael enjoying some chocolate chip pancakes.

Kyle standing proudly beside his fish.

A little tub time for the boys

gobble gobble baby!

Well my turkey is defrosting right now and I'm looking forward to a feast of bird, tatoes, cranberry sauce, brussel sprouts, mmmmm! My parents have told me they are coming, but you never can tell with them. Many a time have they said we will see you at X time and many a time I have sat waiting only to get a phone call saying - oops sorry about that. Anyways I will showcase some photos after the weekend of the food and fun, even if it is only the four of us.

I hope everyone has excellent turkeys/ham and other family foods for this turkey day!

I had so much to say before I started typing and now it has been farted out of my brain like some can of beans - I sat here for a minute trying to remember what brussel sprouts were called, remembered and then everything else was gone.

I will go and finish my kitchen cooking project. My request goes out to all of you again for any remedies for dry hands. I've tried all of the lotions that say 'for dry or extra dry hands' and have no success - I had a sample lotion from the 'Basketree' in Quesnel and it cleared my hands up for a day but they are closed over the weekend and she probably won't have the same stuff again.

Oh - here is some of what I wanted to say - (hooray I remembered) - we bought the little mermaid - one of my all time childhood favorites - as I've mentioned my sister, brother and I used to take roles from the film and then repeat their lines word for word - my sister was usually ariel and I, the ugly ursula... I still cry about it :) Anyway - I put it on this morning for Kyle and he loved it and funny enough - I found out he really loves someone else. We are sitting there and he is babbling about Ariel, mermaid, Prince Eric and then he starts talking about my sister. Now this is pretty weird - he talks to her pretty often but it was out of the blue and I don't think I mentioned her name before hand. Anyway he says, I'm going to marry Aunti Mel. He repeated this again to Andy this afternoon. He has never said he wants to marry anyone, it kind of made my heart melt. So watch out Sean, you've got competition. Ok, there is my turkey day story for you. Off to the kitchen, fast as a speeding turtle.

soccer

Today was the first day of soccer for Kyle. He had a great time and I will post footage soon. I just have to figure out how to load to youtube.

Michael said up to Andy - twice. We were quite blown away by it. It could well have been a fluke as it has not happened again. I will keep you posted. He is walking around the coffee table, but does not feel at all comfortable in letting go. Our little baby is 9 months old today (Oct 4). Kyle turns four in a week... where does the time go?

I will also post pictures of our kitchen reno. We took one side of our cabinets out to put in a new stove. I've been without an oven for too long now and it was time to get something else. We had a wall oven, mickey moused into the "cabinetry". It was a hell of thing to see the way they put the kitchen together. I should have photos loaded in the next day or so.

Thank you to everyone who completed the 50 question survey on their blogs. I had a good time learning more about each of you.

That's it for tonight, I need to go and apply moisturizer to my poor hands. The winter weather is coming and cracking my hands... any advice on curing this or helping it will be greatly appreciated!

Good night my beautiful friends!

(Oh wait - here is my complaint for tonight - every year I have done a big turkey dinner... well every year for the past ten... this year we aren't - why? Well no one wants to come to our house - my grandma came over today and said she was doing her own thing - well good on her but, and I know this is selfish, I was hoping for some of her good pumpkin dessert.. my mom is working, but my parents have had the 'puppies need us' excuse for everything since they got them. Should I care? Why hasn't anyone invited us out?.... It is ok to tell me that I'm being selfish - I am -, but it also feels like I'm at some kind of ending... a cross roads and I'm sad about it. I like people over, I like the family being around, I like the chats about past holidays and family members, I like the meat, cheese, pickle and cracker tray that we put out for the afternoon, I like my holidays and this one will pass us by without so much as a dinner with more than the four of us... not that there is anything wrong with just my little personal family but... you don't need 10 lb, let alone, 5 lb bird... - ok I will stop complaining... it sounds more and more like selfishness and less and less about what I'm really trying to get at - I miss my family and friends being closer and more interested in time together.)

athlete?

UK study found that "women with ring fingers longer than their index fingers - a train commonly seen in men - performed better at running and sports involving running, such as tennis and soccer."

Watch out girls... it looks like I need to really consider playing a sport because I happen to have a long ring finger... on both hands even :)

_____________________________________________________

ER - well it wasn't as fast paced as the first episode, but I was still happy with it. I think the whole 'sam' story will come back later on and I was quite pleased with the ending for abby and kovach. Did anyone understand what happened to Weaver? - was she demoted?

______________________________________________________

Boys - Kyle is going to preschool three days a week and starts soccer on Tuesday. He has made a friend at preschool and has some friends from the gym. His nini (grandma) was just here for a visit and we had a great time. Michael has been sick most of this week. Cough/runny nose... I guess I should say most of this month - but the cough didn't start until a few days ago. He is down to three bottles a day (give or take one) and is eating most of the things we eat in some form. He is standing and seems to be interested in taking a step but hasn't officially tried. I was in Vancouver on Sunday night for a business meeting all day Monday. Paula and I hit the river rock casino to give our donation to the provincial government. The River Rock was fabulous. We had a good time - played roulette, slots and had an awesome dinner at the buffet. Paula was getting her bathroom and kitchen renovated so she camped with me in the hotel for the night - poor Paula had to listen to me snore... sorry about that - better than me throwing the cat at you though :) I had my meeting all day and then flew home on the 4:40. So we've had a busy week - oh I got an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon - they had a cancellation yesterday - so we went to PG for the day - nini had to fly back to Vancouver anyway - dr. figures it is something he can fix with an incision and a cut - I have surgery booked for oct 17 - so with any luck I will be back giving people the bird anytime I like.

season premiere week

Two kids = limited tv time that doesn't have an animated figure on it

I make time for ER. They didn't disappoint with their season opener. It was fast paced and super emotional. I had a good cry... let's face it - I cried through damn near the whole thing and I'm not an overly emotional person. I didn't get the wind-sucking cries - just the regular ones - there was an episode last season that I got the big cries from... of course I was pregnant.

Well I don't have a lot of time to blog about this tonight, but I wanted to see if anyone else watched it and what they thought of it? In case people didn't see I want ruin the end for you but I will ask - what did you think of the ending? Is that ok what happened? I won't say much else because I hate being the movie/tv wrecker.

I'm going to bed.

Wait - I want to ask one more thing - I've taken another blog name - actually quite a while ago - and I've been thinking of developing it into a fundraising project for alzheimers. What I would like to do is start a campaign to capture dreams. Why dreams? Well here is what I think - and I'm probably wrong - but what I hope is that even though my grandma's brain is deteriorating and she isn't the woman I've known my whole life, that maybe she is able to dream. I have this "polly anna" thought that she can remember her family in her dreams she can be the woman she was and have some release from the existence she has now.

I've been mulling this over for a few months, trying to figure out if it is a good idea, if it could work. I want to collect dreams on my blog and also request letters from some famous people, compile those dreams and publish them with the funds going to Alzheimers research.

What do you think? Would you buy a book to support alzheimers? Be frank with me - if it won't work - it won't work - I just wanted to do something.

My grandma is much worse. With the family feuding this past summer I didn't visit because I had the notion that maybe we weren't supposed to anymore. Not because I didn't want to visit but because my parents and their brothers are at war over how to handle the situation. We were asked to take my grandfather to a doctors appointment this weekend. So Andy took him while I watched grandma. It is just all bad. She doesn't know anyone around her, she has troubles forming sentences, she needs help with drinking, walking, washroom - everything. And when I say help I mean she needs someone to do it for her. She doesn't need to be hooked up to a machine but she needs 24 hour care that can lift, and support all of her needs. This is what is prompting me to again consider this idea. She can't be helped but maybe a little money can help someone find a cure and maybe then someone else we all know and love doesn't have to suffer.

Well I will leave you with that for tonight - I need to do some reading and then sleep. I have a meeting in Barkerville all day tomorrow. Night.

challenge - know you better

My dear friend Paula emailed me this little quiz and I thought I would share my answers here. I would like to challenge all my readers to try this out so I can learn more about you.

1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE, WERE WOULD IT BE?
Hawaii

2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING?
mittens

3. THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? (and/or last itunes song)
Dixie Chicks - CD, itunes - London Bridge - Fergie and Christina Agulera Ain't No Other Man

4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
Whatever time it is when Michael decides it is time to get up - anytime between 4am and 6:45am

5. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?
Oven - I don't have one right now - I'm operating with a toaster oven and anyone that knows will understand that I do a far bit of cooking and I've come to realize that this is my favorite.

6. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Too many to chose from - definitely guitar and I wouldn't mind learning violin and piano

7. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV?
car - four door

8 DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE AFTER LIFE?
right now I don't

9. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK?
Hmmmm... this is a hard one - we go through soo many - I think it would be The Paper Bag princess, Munsch

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
spring

11. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Would it be a super power to make money grow on trees...? If not, then I would pick wolverine's power - to heal

12. IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT WOULD IT BE AND WHERE WOULD YOU PUT IT?
As Paula said, been there, done that - but I will add - that I would get another - I would like to get my son's chinese character names inside or beside my maple leaf

13. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
balls - no, work and life - yes

14. THE ONE PERSON/PEOPLE FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO?
my grandpa

15. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY?
Saturday

16. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR?
a stroller, a blanket, a box of paper for work, dirt

17. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER?
helllooo - SUSHI all the way baby!

18. FROM THE PEOPLE YOU EMAIL THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
from my bloggers - well I think Mel might - if she has time

19. WHO'S LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
The rest of you are busy - so I'm sure if any of you will find the time for this.

20. WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM?
Paula

21. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER?
Lily of the valley

22. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Black forest

23. BUTTER, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN?
how about caramel popcorn

24. FAVORITE COLOR?
blue

25. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU DRIVE?
Honda CRV

26. FAVORITE SANDWICH?
Tuna and avocado or BLT

27. ON VACATION WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
Hawaii or Vancouver

28. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Quesnel

29. FAVORITE SPORT?
Hockey

31. ARE YOU A MORNING PERSON OR A NIGHT OWL?
I'm a little bit of both - I have to be a morning person and I wish I was a night owl again

32. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE SINGER?
Tough tough - Kevin Hearn - Hidden Sun - BNL

33. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
Does IKEA count? - In Quesnel my fav is Bistro Duo - on the coast I would have to go with many of the vendors at the Granville Island food court

34. DO YOU ATTEND CHURCH? IF SO, WHAT IS THE NAME?
no

35. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FAST FOOD?
None

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
ER

37. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PASTIME?
Spending time with family and friends - maybe that isn't a pastime - I like scrapbooking, photography, astronomy and masochism :)

38 HOW MANY CLOSE FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE?
Hmmm, define close :) - Four

39. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK?
Cranberry and seven

40. WHAT IS YOUR WORST FEAR?
Don't get me started - under this category I could go on and on - I will say spiders even though I don't really fear them - but let's just leave it at that

41. WHAT IS YOUR BEST CHILDHOOD MEMORY?
Very tough - that one that came to mind was my grandpa making me remove thorns and prickle bushes from the front lawn - he would give me a nickel for the small ones and a dime for the big ones - then we'd walk to Frank's and get an ice cream sandwich -

42. IF YOU HAD TO DO ONE THING OVER AGAIN, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I would have completed my projects in metal work and wood work rather than getting my bud to finish them for me.

43. WHAT IS YOUR DREAM?
Um, can you say lotto! I dream of living comfortable and having loads of time for my kids and husband, friends and family.

44. ARE YOU ATTACHED/MARRIED?
Yes

45. WHAT DO YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE IN A PERSON?
kidneys? - oh - not literally - spontaneity

46. WHAT THING(S) TURN YOU OFF THE MOST IN A PERSON?
Poor fashion sense - ha -

47. ARE YOU A DOG OR A CAT PERSON?
Dog

48.WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WERE IN YOUR PAST LIFE?
A lamp - if the question was supposed to be who - I would say Johnny Appleseed

49. WHAT ARE YOUR PET PEEVES?
people who can't say excuse me after they fart - you know who you are :)

50. SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON THAT SENT THIS TO YOU.
You are a kind hearted person who is able to forgive a friend who sleep walks and rants. You also smell good.

Thank you to Carmen for completing the questions.

summer fire pictures

I finally scanned my mom's photos of the Nazko fire. She has quite a few more - I thought I would show you some of my favorites.







The cars pulled over by the cops are two 'tards who decided to disregard the fire barrier and drive through. They found out the hard way that the signs really really meant they shouldn't proceed. Both vehicles paint had bubbled and peeled.

what's new?

Today my mom took Kyle for most of the day, freeing us up to make a donation to the special olympics (local team) and also letting us enjoy some time with Michael. We donated all of our left over garage sale stuff - including my wedding dress and a large variety of other things. The back of our pick up was full (double stacked in some spots) and then a few more things in the car.

It felt great to give the stuff and I would suggest to everyone that this is a great way to help recycle and also clean your house. Most of the stuff we've been packing for more than four years without any use. It was surprising the number of textbooks that we had. I kept some of andy's textbooks because they are relevant to my current work.

Since we had some Kyle free time we took Michael to weigh in - he is now 29 inches tall and 21 lbs 5 oz. I definitely feel the 21 lbs. I'm surprised that I'm able to carry him for the length of time that I do.

Kyle had a great time with Grandma. They spent the day with the puppies, playing and having a lot of fun. They met us for dinner (half way point Sylvia's Cafe - best home style cookin') and then we came home.

Trying to get stuff done now because Andy's departure date keeps getting closer. He will be taking a course in Vancouver starting in mid October and we have quite a few tasks that need to be completed before then.

Babies cryin' and I need to finish some paper work. Nighty night... pictures soon.

pluto

SAT scores are getting lower and lower in the US. The educational issues facing them is a major challenge to the future of America. Wrongly educated or uneducated students can not ruin the planet and create wars.

In an effort to assist the ever growing ranks of youth who are not fulfilling their educational requirements the government has managed to sweet talk the astronomy gurus of our planet into dropping pluto from our planetary solar system.

Why drop pluto? Well it is one less thing for a student to remember and it means that scientists can not add the additional smaller (dwarf) planets to the list and making the poor students have to remember more than nine.

teeth

The cries began at 4am. A break, then more, a break, then more. This little moaning and crying concert went on for two and half hours. I figured his body was trying to push another tooth out but my brain didn't flick the light on until I had endured two and half hours. I bought some natural teething tablets at a health food store months ago and at 6:30 my brain went... hey why don't you give him some.

I did - the crying stopped and he went to sleep until 7:45. Michael is now the proud owner of two lovely teeth. One is about half way exposed and the other has just broken through the skin. Kyle must have a huge pain tolerance - he didn't make a peep when he was teething - ok - maybe there was some crying but nothing like this. At 8 months Kyle was sleeping through the night and I was pretty well rested. Michael is still getting up in the night and I have no idea why.

So I took the rest of the year off. I won't be returning to full time work until the new year. So cheers to that!

Kyle went back to preschool yesterday. He is having a great time. There are lots of kids (full session). He is enrolled in soccer for October and I'm really looking forward to that.

Well there is a bit of an update. I need to print some pictures and scrapbook. I keep saying I'm going to do it and then I don't... I will try and get something acomplished this afternoon on the scrapbook front.

CBS

Katie Couric = intelligent?

I wasn't a die hard viewer of the Today show, but I did watch. I remember Katie dressing up as Sponge Bob Square pants and I was kind of hooked after that. She is so many things to very wide cross section of people.

Tonight she began her new career as the host of CBS Evening News. I made sure I tuned in for a while to see how she was doing. Wonderful, as anticipated - that is until she was signing off... or didn't. As some ploy to get more people looking at the CBS website and probably pitch to a younger crowd she asked the viewers to create her sign off. The Katie I've watched does not need the assistance of the viewing public with this.

All that said, I encourage you to go to the CBS website and make up your own sign off - 'good night america and remember to get your colon checked' or remind them that Katie can just as easily come up with a great way to sign off. She doesn't really need to say anything at all - we, the apparently stupid', viewing public get that the show ends at 7pm and that things wind down on there own.

Ahhhh, I ranted. I have another... I will see if I can get it out tonight.

steve

I will admit it, I loved the crocodile hunter. I watched his smiling face on the discovery channel pretty often over the past few years. His sometimes crazy antics made me crave more of his "Jack Ass" meets Lorne Greene style. If you loved the "crikey" man as much as I did I hope you will feel compelled to leave your favorite moment that you saw on his show.

Some of my favorite moments were when he was trying to hold onto a snake and the comments he would make after a massive snake would try and nip him.

He brought nature to everyone and made millions of people more aware of the creepy, crawly, bump-in-the-night beasts that we fear. I've been trying to find a way to make a contribution to some of Steve's work. The best thing I can think of right now is to donate to the Australian Zoo that employed Steve and continue to support the Discovery Channel. There website is pretty hard to get into right now because half world is trying to look at it but you can visit www.crocodilehunter.com if you get a chance.

where did I go?

So you might have wondered if I jumped off the planet for a few weeks there and well I did. We went away. Off to the coast to run away from it all. I did some work on the island and feel like I learned a few things. Spent some time with family in Vancouver but really just lounged and tried to regain my spirit to spend another winter in the north. The winters are much milder than they were when I was a kid but... being on the coast made me really think about the possibility of moving down. I could take this opportunity to rant about drivers, limited family activities, family activities that don't cost me a days work, rude people, mean people, racist people... but I won't (tonight). I will leave you with some photos from our vacation and will write again soon. Happy belated birthday to my beautiful 27 year old aunti jenni and my daddy... I love you both very much!



Aquatic life at the aquarium... of all places... shocking :)



The men in my life enjoying the view



My little family enjoying a sunset



Another family pic

quiz for the beginning of september

Welcome to September folks! That's right we are one step closer to the end of the year. I actually saw a sign a few weeks ago reminding me that christmas was getting closer - to which I say - blow it out your you-know-what... lord - like we don't have enough to worry about... like gift giving is what life is all about! Better buy that sweater or else someone won't like me anymore - well if your friends and family are like that it is probably best to tell them where to go now before spending that $40 on something that person won't likely care about anyway... and now with my rant out of the way - here is your new quiz

another set of three

Michael and a bear, Exploration Place


Kyle posing for me at Heritage Garden, he is such a good sport


Kyle and my mom with the golden retriever puppies - my mom is getting two puppies next week


Kyle in the mouth of a t-rex, Exploration Place... very cool

more pics

Fuzzy purple flower from Heritage Garden in West Fraser Timber Park


Derrel, Jenni, Rolo, Kyle and Michael at the Heritage Park a couple weekends ago



Kyle and the bears at Exploration Place, PG

quiz

What is this?

more pics

Ok - I have a tonne more photos but blogger isn't letting me load tonight - ARG! I will try and load more photos tomorrow. Watch for a new photo quiz... I think I have a stumper!

If you can't wait to see the photos that I was going to load - click on the flickr photos that are always changing and you can see them there. At least flickr is working tonight. :)

pics

A beautiful bloom from the heritage garden in West Fraser Timber Park


Michael and Kyle on their first bike ride together (Michael's first ride ever)


just a creepy train photo... taken at exploration place

compliments

I know blogs are more about complaining than compliments but I have to pay one. We went on our monthly adventure to Prince George and I talked Andy into going to Exploration Place to try something new with Kyle. It is like a mini-Science world for the northerns. It was a hoot. They have a small dinosaur display, a kids play area and then an older kids discovery area. We spent two hours there and ended up buying a membership. Then we found out that by purchasing the membership we gained membership access to Science World, HR McMillian Science Centre and loads of other cool places across BC and Alberta! HOORAY! So for you northerns or visitors to the north, don't miss the great opportunity to give yourself and kids a place to go and have a little bit of fun. It is all attached to Ft George Park, which is home to a water park and lots of other fun outdoor kid stuff. So there.. I've tooted my horn for something good in Prince George. Not that there aren't other things to do in Prince George but this was a stand out thing for us.

Michael had a big week - his wounded soldier crawl is improving by the day - the last few days we see him crawling with both legs more often, he said his first word - dad... the first time we thought it was just a fluke but we had said it a couple of times since and does it while looking or trying to blab with Andy, his first tooth is just poking through and he is waving. Andy waved at him the other day and he waved back - of course, we thought it was a fluke but now he is waving at Andy and Kyle any chance he gets. He is communicating... I know this is a highly parental thing but it just makes me so happy to see him trying these things. It seems a little early for waving but Kyle was late on all the communication stuff so I just don't know.

I've decided to start tracking our enormous veggies and fruit - if you post your record you will be able to find it in the margin (left) on the main page.

perseid

Aug 12 - 13 is the peak of the perseid meteor shower. If you have some time and clear place to view the sky, take time tomorrow night to view the heavens. The moon is still kind of full so that might take away from the number of meteors you will see, but I read that they are forecasting 15-30 an hour, which is still pretty good in my books.

I've viewed it for a number of years and some years it is exceptional! You will see a few that you just catch the tail end of, but there are some that you see and hear, as it burns the sky. If you are an astronomy nut like me, this is the best time of year. This is definitely the best of meteor showers for the year and it happens every year at roughly the same time. (day)

Face the opposite direction of the moon, to lessen the light and gaze awhile. Count 'em up and share your experience. If you want to get a little technical - look for cassiopeia (the big 'w' in the sky) and the perseus constellation will be found south - the meteors are suppose to come from this direction - but to be honest, these meteors come from all over the sky. I say get a hot beverage, a blanket, a nice place to sit, someone to talk to between flashes and enjoy!

Have a great weekend!

too easy is it...

what am I?

This might be too easy to. I will work on getting something more difficult - although I question where the fun is in stumping you... my treasured guests :)

So how did my weekend go? Well I managed to get everything except two things done. One of the things I am completing tonight before I go to bed. The other - well, it will simply have to wait. This was the task of cleaning the scrapbook room. I've nearly got it all put away. I've organized nearly all my paper by color or theme but I've got a bit of a stack going that needs some tending.

I need to scrapbook. I need at least an hour a day for the rest of the year to try and catch up - not to mention the books I need to work on for family (three).

growth update

I forgot that it was immunization week around here. Michael took them very well this time. It was weird when he got the shots because... well Kyle just sat there and took it - they gave him a shot and he just kind of looked around, or cried a little but didn't put together that if the nice lady was cleaning his leg it meant another was on the way... well Michael got the first shot and then he immediately figured out the course of action ahead. He tensed all his little muscles up and that meant that he bled... great. He was a trooper though - got through it better than I would have. I hate getting immunization shots.

So my little beefcake is seven months today and he weighed 20 lbs and 1 oz, and was 27 and 1/2 inches tall. He has been crawling forward since July 14 and now has it pretty much in check. He is dragging one leg behind him but we are hoping it is just him still trying to figure it all out. He may not though because no sooner had he figured out forward he started to lift himself up. We had to lower the crib because he was climbing up and could have easily fallen out. He now stands up beside any toy that will let him. It is madness. Kyle just lounged around... Michael is the child that never stops. I'm excited about him learning all these new things but I also miss that cuddly stage that Kyle gave me... something Michael skipped. Kyle is doing really well - he is into puzzles big time right now. He can do 24 and 48 piece ones without much thought, he is working on a 100 piece one but it is pretty hard. He tries to work at for a little while every other day - it is coming together though. He is learning new songs and starting to read along with books, which is nice but.. I'll be honest - annoying. He usually gives up after while because he can't hear the story. This whole situation reminds me of my poor parents and the movie nights they went through with us. My brother, sister and I use to memorize Disney movies and then take roles. Then we would be that character through the entire film, singing, talking... you name it, we did it... I've always wondered if we were the only crazies doing this kind of thing and well I haven't met anyone yet that said... april, I did that too. So if you did - share, and if you don't want to admit it... I completely understand.

Michael is rumbling... I better get going. Update complete. I'm signing off.