What is important in life?
I went to a women in business workshop this morning - some women turned it into a bitch session - while others had some serious and interesting concerns that they wanted to address with a larger group.
As we sat there talking (well me listening) I heard an older generation talk about the time they got to spend at home and others talking about the importance of a childs first years. It made me upset all day because if I could be at home I would be. It makes me sad that I have to work and hear Kyle tell me how much he misses me. I know twenty years from now he won't remember that - he will maybe remember that mom worked - but that might even be part of the haze. I remember my mom being home, and I remember spending lots of time with my dad on weekends. My dad work nights so we didn't really see him that much - we used to go hunting in the mornings so that was time together. Does that make me a worse person? I don't know I'm just struggling tonight.
Where is this going? I don't know. I just wanted to chat tonight and didn't really know where to go with it. I'm in no financial position to just walk away from work and I don't know that I would for sure. I will tell you what really makes me think though is that in a few short months I'm going to have to give half of my full time jobs monthly income to a daycare provider that I don't think is providing anything fabulous. And I'll tell you that I'm expected to do some pretty fantastic work for that money. My home based business doesn't make enough money for me to do that alone but maybe if I did it and forgot about the office I could make a run at it... that and farmers market... we will see
Well I'm going to sit here and list to "the beat" my favorite radio station and enjoy some JT - oh yes, you brought sexy back... (am I too old to enjoy him and his music... - alright I have to share this - I had a meeting today and felt old - I'm 30 - I don't think 30 is old... well not now that I am this age... but I didn't agonize over turning 30 - this wasn't that big a deal to me - but today a little newbie grad made me want to freak out - she insulted everyone in the room with her comments and then couldn't say more than four words without saying 'like' - I used to say like all the time and then one day (when I was 14) my dad said - April you sound like a retard - stop saying like, like, like... and I gradually got over it - unless I wanted to raz him and then I could pour it on - ahhh - I feel better now - that has been bugging me for hours)
1 comment:
I am a teacher on call who is 30. Almost every other TOC is fresh out of teacher training. The rest of the bunch...you know that old saying about those who don't know how to do things teach? Yeah, that's them. (Hmmmm, am I categorizing myself there?)
I'm fighting between being a good wife and mother and personal satisfaction myself. I am a person that requires socialization (being a part of a group, having people around me, that sort of thing). As a person that doesn't stay at a school for long...I'm not getting that. However, nobody, including me, needs me having the markload of a full-time teacher. For the rest of the school year I will be astonished if I don't make at least .7 of what a regular teacher makes. There really isn't an incentive to apply for a 'real' job, except for my mental health. And to that I tell myself to toughen up because the rest outweighs it. But does it? etc. etc. etc.
Yeah.
I applied to teach summer school. We'll see what happens there.
Feel well.
Why do I have to ask twice to get my comments published?
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