So I've been reading Stephen Covey and his 8th step for months - going back over the same sections and getting frustrated... I think mostly because I understood that I need to teach what I was learning but not applying it. So after a long walk tonight while reading the book in my basement I thought I would teach here... take it or leave it - share your ideas - teach back - I just want to use this book to be a better person and right now I can see the changes that need to be made but am not instituting the changes...
The idea behind the 8th step is all about being the best human beings we can be, excelling in all aspects of our life. I'm struggling with how it will all come together at the end, but I'm trying to have a little faith.
Ok - before I go on - one of Kyle's fish died... he has had six little gold fish for months. I've got pictures of him and them together. It was a little sad but I didn't think much of it. I think he believes they are going on some kind of vacation when they head for the toilet. He says it is dead, but dead must be better than the aquarium because he sends them off with a see you later and wishes them the best... maybe that is death... anyway this morning we are getting ready for school and the rest of the fish are dead - all five of them... I wanted to cry - tonight I did - more about it just being plain shitty and about me still just being a pus about all death stuff since my grandma passed away. Anyway like the complete champ that he is he wished them well and flushed them. I shed a small tear in his room and he got pretty choked up at that but then just moved on with things. I must be overly emotional right now. Everything is upsetting me - tomorrow is also three months since my grandma died and I'm hurting over that... - ok - enough on that - back to teaching.
So the book suggests that I teach someone - anyone - chapter by chapter and take my time - work through the ideas presented in each chapter over the course of a month - complete 12 chapters and in a year be a better person. No magic pills did not come with this book.
So this first session is on finding our voices. The idea is that we are all born as genuises and so much shit weighs us down in life, on purpose or indirectly, taking our potential away. Covey suggests that the thing that makes us different from robots and the animals is that we can make choices. We choose to gossip, we choose to eat another cookie, we choose to drive fast, we choose to lead, we choose to control ourselves, we choose to take our time, we choose. Based on our choices we can change our future. We have the freedom to choose and we forget that we have that option. We are not our pasts, we are not the product of only genetics, we are not what other people tell us we are.
Covey uses a great quote in his book from psychiatrist RD Laing - "The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change: until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds." Yes, this reads like mud the first time through - try again and see if it gets clearer. It makes me think of a time when I heard that I should learn the names of people around me and take the time to know them. I choose not to notice them by not learning their name and something about them - does that make me a less caring person - am I just saving time... I think its probably making me a less caring person and saving a minute - well its only a minute.
I will stop there for tonight - maybe you have learned nothing - that's ok - share your thoughts and stories - it will help us all grow smarter and maybe some of us will become genuises again.
Night.
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