Monday, August 20, 2007

the worst way to go...

BRISBANE, Australia (AP) - An Australian woman was killed by a pet camel given to her as a 60th birthday present after the animal apparently tried to have sex, police said Sunday.

The woman, whose name was not released, was killed Saturday at her family's sheep and cattle ranch near Mitchell, 600 kilometres west of the Queensland state capital Brisbane, state police Detective Senior Constable Craig Gregory said.

The 10-month-old male camel - weighing about 150 kilograms - knocked the woman to the ground, lay on top of her, then exhibited what police suspect was mating behaviour, Gregory said.

"I'd say it's probably been playing, or it may be even a sexual sort of thing," Gregory said, adding the camel almost suffocated the family's pet goat by straddling it on several occasions.

Camel expert Chris Hill said he had no doubt the camel's behaviour was sexual.

Hill, who has offered camel rides to tourists for 20 years, said young camels are not aggressive, but can be dangerous if treated as pets without discipline.

The fate of the camel was not known.

The woman was given the camel in March as a birthday present from her husband and daughter. "She had a love of exotic pets," Gregory said.


So that isn't a joke - this poor woman died being humped by a camel. So I'm voting that as the crappiest way to die. And note to all - camels have humps and also like to give them....

Sunday, August 12, 2007


Men look at boobs.

I get it - they all do it. Some are significantly better at in than others. On Friday I experienced my worst boob-zone out. I felt like I was in a strip club and didn't know that I was at the lead. I tried to not notice - or am I supposed to be like - HELLO - what's your problem - I have a face - do you see me looking anywhere other than your face? huh? do you?

It was uncomfortable enough that I was crossing my arms over my boobs to try and shield them from the menacing stare... ARG! So what to do? Should I have made a comment - do men just get to look at boobs and women should just get over it?

On another note - what the hell is wrong with the weather - it is cold here and completely feels like fall. Tonight is the best meteor shower of the year and fog from the river rolled over my house during the peak time to watch - ! double ARG!!!!!! I managed to see two, but COME ON! That's now enough!

Alright - well I'm off to practice my pole moves - I need to prepare for my meetings tomorrow.

In the shut the hell up file...
An Eyeful A Day Keeps The Doctor Away
Staring at women's breasts is good for men's health and makes them live longer, a new survey reveals. Researchers have discovered that a 10-minute ogle at women's breasts is as healthy as half-an- hour in the gym. A five-year study of 200 men found that those who enjoyed a longing look at busty beauties had lower blood pressure, less heart disease and slower pulse rates compared to those who did not get their daily eyeful.

Dr Karen Weatherby, who carried out the German study, wrote in The New England Journal of Medicine: "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics workout. Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. There is no question that gazing at breasts makes men healthier. Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of a stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life 4 to 5 years."

Wednesday, August 08, 2007


So I started writing on here about two hours ago. I haven't watched a movie in forever - I don't even remember the last movie that I saw. I wanted to watch something fun tonight and we have a copy of Borat... but I couldn't find it and as I'm searching through all the dvds we have I see Brokeback Mountain still in its wrapper. We bought it ages ago and I've never bothered to watch it. I started watching it two hours ago and came on here to rant. I was a little overwhelmed by the first scene in it - having not seen a film in a while and seeing any kind of violence really turned me off. I got on here and started talking about it and then stopped and tried to pay attention to film. I just finished watching it and I gotta say it was a very good movie. I cried the whole last 15 minutes or so of it. I had heard a lot about the movie - lots of negative stuff - but it truly was a good love story - for anyone - from all walks of life..... and there you go - I just wanted to share that.

What else is new? Not much. I should have been working tonight but I just couldn't get into it. I got another website gig today - I'm a little overwhelmed with work, but I'm also struggling with task management... but I'm going to get into list mode tomorrow and get it straight.

Oh - on the stupid blonde front - a month ago my air conditioner started leaking. It was leaking about 4 litres or more a day. Today my landlord finally got a service crew over and the guy is up on the chair looking at it and he's all - oh the pump must be gone. He starts pulling on a cord... my eyes start to follow where the cord is going - it seems that it crosses the ceiling and comes right over to my desk. Then I start looking around and see where I've unplugged what I thought was a light... turns out - nope I'm an idiot... he just kind of laughed at me and told me to have a nice day. I just told my landlord that it had been taken care of... lord :) So have a laugh at my expense... poor dumb april :)

Monday, August 06, 2007

bc day well celebrated

Well we had a great BC Day and I hope everyone else took in the sights and sounds of our beautiful province... and to those who are in other provinces... sorry you had to be there and miss out on here :)

Here are the boys and grandpa picking berries. We found a field full of wild raspberries - it was quite the sight and every time you turned around you'd hear one of saying - gees I can't believe how many berries there are. This was at 3700 ft.

Here are the boys cooling down after a full day of hiking. We climbed to the top of this mountain looking for the elusive cave. We did end up finding the cave but there was no cut trail to the cave and we'd already spent two hours hiking. We climbed to 4050 ft - Kyle hiked the whole thing - Michael got a free ride to the top on my dad's shoulders for the most part. I took him for a while, but my dad hoofed it darn near the whole way.

The middle of this photo is where I climbed to on my last trip. This climb was about 100 ft higher. The last two hundred feet were pretty steep. I'm still surprised that Kyle made it without too much help - and he had a great time. The boys were so tuckered out that they fell asleep in the car and have been asleep since. Very good BC Day!

Sunday, August 05, 2007

voodoo whodoo

So it all came and slapped me in the face yesterday. She calls and says I have clients coming today and need the room. So like the obedient and best daughter on the planet that I am and get my loving husband and brother and we move over 600 lbs of equipment, clean the room, clean the bathroom, (vaccuum, washing, dusting) mildly decorate the room - all in a few quick hours - less than three. At 4:30 they show up and do a massage session on my front lawn. AAAAHHHHHHH!

Alright - you say - April that isn't enough... isn't enough... it gets better or worse depending on who you are related to in this story... story implies that I'm making this up... this is a true story.

2 hours later she comes in and says she needs to use the computer. Fine - 5 minutes later the clients come in with her - they spend the next 10+ minutes downstairs on the computer. We are eating dinner - we are mad. This is way over what we agreed to.

Afterwards I try to be polite - try - how did it go? No patient confidentiality here... I will spare you the gory details but I've been left thinking about it since... then I start to get to it on my issues because I wasn't going to let this get to me - and she needs to know that I'm concerned about this situation. I explain that we shuffled house for her, that we were disappointed about her not using the room (it becomes obvious at this point that she told me they wanted to be outside, but that she actually wanted to be outside... ARG - hair ignition in 5, 4, 3, 2, ...1 ), disappointed about her bringing people through our house. I finally ask if she was paid. Now... please hold onto your seats - and if you aren't sitting - sit down - 'april - this isn't about the money, this is about healing people - I shouldn't be charging people to get rid of their headache or whatever it might be' - so you didn't get paid - well they gave me this great rock - i shit you not - she showed me the rock they paid with... later this same day I tried this at save-on-foods and they told me that a rock will not pay for my milk and told me to get out of the store... who knew! I asked how this was going to pay the bills, wasn't that part of doing this... and she said - hold on again - that it would all be taken care of - she'd seen it. FABULOUS! Where is my crystal ball?

Alright - so I understand the issue of not wanting people to charge for services - I think my hairstylist should also take the barter system - that would work much better for me - I'm sure that I could round up some rocks... ok I will stop with the rock jokes... what am I getting to.. well I'm sure doctors, and other people who provide a service that people need and, in some cases, are quite desperate for, but you don't see any of them giving away services for free. Is this more that these people won't pay? I don't know what to think. I suggested that a business plan (I know.. ms science over here) should be written and then a budget would help her understand how things should go, but I think she was thinking about something else... I love the people that say - april - its all in my head - i know it will work... I've heard this before from other people starting a business... but I gotta say - free doesn't equate to good - its nice to get perks when I buy things but if something is being given away you start wondering about why... why is this free? maybe it isn't good for me.

Free will not pay for insurance (that she needs), bills, training, rent... (selfish April - you are sooo bad)... free will not make a savings program to pay for her home care.... 'april... don't worry - it's all taken care of - i've seen it.'

This rant was brought to you by the letter R and the number 1.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

60 minutes and counting

The battle over sleep continues... tonight Michael - who is definitely over tired - is shouting... not great with the boys sharing a room, but Kyle can sleep through anything. (Note - if you haven't seen it already - check out the story on children and fire alarms. A study was completed that showed most children will not wake up to fire alarms. They showed fire fighter parents children test fire alarms and all of the kids slept through the alarm while it blared on for more than two minutes - some for more than three. A new line of fire alarms are being released in the US that are announcements by parents - basically yelling at the kids to wake up. The test children woke within 15-30 seconds with these alarms.... something to maybe watch out for or check out online.

Now he is out here leaning on me because he refuses to sleep. My mom suggested reverse psychology - 'don't go to bed, stay up then..' Not sure how well that is going to work with a high-temper 19 month old...

More on the kids front - there is a huge recall going on at fisher price. We have some of the toys and I wouldn't be surprised if you have them or if someone you know has them - check out what has been recalled (83 products - Dora, Diego, Sesame Street, etc) the website is clogged with everyone else trying to download the form to return stuff - so be patient - as they suggest - and then send their crap back to them - I guess the poorly paid Chinese workers gave the toys an extra coat of lead.

Now he's pouring on the tears - better run - night night all.